IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

https://mediumhappy.com/?p=7313

by John Walters

 

Breaking: It’s About Time

Charles Manson, who directed a murdering spree that left nine people dead (one was a drug dealer associate, before the Tate-LaBianca murders) in Los Angeles in August of 1969, dies at the age of 83. A monster is gone.

 

Starting Five

Crazy in Alabama

That’s about as Alabama a front page as you can get: an above-the-fold editorial urging readers to reject alleged pedophile (even though a lot of their moms urged them to date him) Roy Moore‘s senate candidacy, and just below that, a story on the Iron Bowl.

 

Later on Sunday, Moore threatened to sue the newspapers and they came right back on him with a sleeper hold. Bluff, called.

2. Mister Peterman!


In his first NFL start, Buffalo Bills rookie Nathan Peterman, who was promoted earlier in the week over veteran Tyrod Taylor, throws five interceptions—in the first half. If striking out four times in one game is called a golden sombrero, we propose throwing five interceptions in one game be denoted as an urban sombrero.

The Bills trailed 37-7 at the half (Peterman was 6 of 14, with 5 picks) and Buffalo, who is still in playoff contention with a 5-5 record, put Taylor back in. How low does the bar need to be placed before someone phones Colin Kaepernick and invites him to try out? At this stage, just letting passers such as Peterman take the field and perform seems like damning proof of collusion, no?

UPDATE: I’m told three of the five picks were not Peterman’s fault. Elaine!

3. The New Heisman Pose?

It was a pretty weird move by Kansas’ three captains, refusing to shake Oklahoma quarterback Baker Mayfield’s hand before their game on Saturday. Mayfield, who also took a cheap shot in the second half, responded by throwing three touchdown passes in the Sooners’ 41-3 rout of the Jayhawks, then he grabbed his junk.

Because it’s 2017 and you either flip off fans or grab your junk. The entire year deserves to be flagged for unsportsmanlike conduct at this stage.

4. No Mora Jim Mora

On his 56th birthday UCLA football coach Jim Mora woke up with a 5-6 record following his Bruins’ 28-23 loss to crosstown rival USC. Then at some point before brunch, Mora was relieved of his duties. Fired on his birthday. That’s cold.

Mora departs Westwood with a 44-30 record in six seasons and having coached one of our favorite college players these past five years, Myles Jack. The folks in Westwood are pining for Chip Kelly. If only Josh RosenRosen would stick around one more season.

The Bruins host Cal on Friday and need to win to become bowl-eligible.

5. For Pete’s Sake

On SNL‘s “Weekend Update,” there’s comedy as entertainment (Kate McKinnon and what Bill Hader used to do) and there’s comedy as therapy (Leslie Jones or Pete Davidson talking about their issues). We’re not usually big fans of the latter, but on Saturday Davidson had one of his funniest bits yet, contrasting the images of himself and fellow Staten Islander Colin Jost. Go to the 4:30 mark here.

Reserves

That’s What’s Up

 

Chance the Rapper was a musical guest on SNL last year, but he’s too talented and likable not to be a guest host. Here he is as a black sports reporter forced to cover hockey.

Music 101 

You Shook Me All Night Long

There are few rock songs that without question capture the form’s essence: Energy, abandon, freedom, danger, sex and VOLUME. It’s all here in AC/DC‘s 1980 classic. Because of this song, my mom confiscated my copy of Back In Black (after my sister told her what it was about). I was 13 and honestly, I had no idea what the song was about. I wasn’t paying attention to the lyrics. I was just rocking out. Rest in peace, Malcolm Young. For those about to rock, we salute you.

Remote Patrol

David Letterman: The Mark Twain Prize

8 p.m. PBS

(Just go to 2:07 on this clip if nothing else)

Last month Dave was honored at the Kennedy Center. Guest include Jimmy Kimmel, Norm Macdonald, Steve Martin, John Mulaney, Bill Murray, Amy Schumer, Paul Shaffer, Martin Short, Eddie Vedder, Jimmie Walker and, oh yeah. Senator Al Franken.

3 thoughts on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. I believe this coming weekend is Rivalry Week in CFB, correct? So, I was thinking this past Saturday – what was the best name for that sorry slate of games? (Note – I was further prompted for this exercise when scrolling the On Demand TV Guide & seeing ‘The Hunger Games’ over & over). The Cupcake Games? The Money Games? (as the opponents of the Power 5 teams all get a boatload of moola for volunteering their players as tacking dummies. Or my pick, THE MERCY GAMES. Why you ask? Because the fans & loved ones of the opposing teams’ players must all be crying throughout the games “Lord, have mercy!”.

    What say you?

    Next question – if Ohio State beats Michigan & then next week Wisconsin in the Big 10 Championship game, what are their chances for getting into the Playoff? There is one, right? Even if Bama loses to Auburn (I’m not holding my breath), they’d still get in. UNLESS they lose to GA in the SEC Championship game. Which is possible, but I doubt it. Only Miami OR Clemson gets in, right? Oklahoma only has to beat WVA, so they are pretty much in (although I hope I just jinxed them). That leaves one slot – who gets it? What scenario do you see playing out over the next 2 weeks?

    And finally, I know I’m late on this, but what the heck happened to ND against Miami?! Did they suddenly think it was 2016 & not 2017? I could see maybe losing a tight game, but damn, that was a total beatdown! And they’d been playing so great this season until then. Bummer.

    And I guess that Mayfield kid will win the Heisman, but I’ve never been a fan, even before his most recent IQ demonstration.

  2. Just saw something online & it seems The Sociopath in the WH tweeted today he is no longer going to pretend he is not a RACIST? I keep trying to come up with some pithy reply but what can you say to that? Er, “we always knew you were a lying sack of shit, thanks for confirming”?

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