by John Walters


Starting Five

1. I’m Joe K., You’re Joe K. 

I know what you’re thinking because I’m thinking the same thing: Where do these Kennedy men keep coming from (when the previous generation keeps dying so young)? Joe Kennedy III gave the Democratic response to the State of the Union speech last night and for those of you trimming the family tree, he’s the 37 year-old grandson of Robert F. Kennedy and the grandnephew of JFK and I’m already nervous for him (he’s also the nephew of Cheryl Hines, Larry David’s TV ex-wife).


Joe. K attended Stanford and then Harvard Law, but we all know that Harvard Law never produces good presidents. Anyway, we were listening to the speech on the cab ride home and at first I didn’t know who was speaking so I just assumed I’d been time-warped back to an early episode of Mad Men.

As for the president’s speech, this says it all….

Joe K. spoke from Fall River, Mass., which is only 38 miles from Plymouth, where the Pilgrims first set foot on American shore (if you don’t count the part where they landed on Cape Cod first, which your 2nd-grade teacher probably did not tell you about), which was not a coincidence. His speech was inclusive. Inspiring. It was also, partially, in Espanol. Here, listen (or read)

2. James Harden: 60-10-11

Did the NBA All-Star Game begin 2 1/2 weeks early? Last night James Harden became the first player in NBA history to score 60 points AND net a triple double in Houston’s 114-107 win against the Tragic. The putative MVP was 19-30 from the field and 17-18 from the charity stripe. It pays to practice your free throws, kids.


I’ll take tweets that did not age well for $200, Alex.

3. Alex Doesn’t Live Here Anymore

The Kansas City Chiefs traded quarterback Alex Smith to the Washington Redskins in a move that was approved by both the NFL and the Bureau of Indian Affairs. Smith’s exodus means that the Redskins will release Kirk Cousins (“Hello, Cleveland!”) while K.C. will likely start Pat Mahomes.

Worth noting that Smith, who did lead the NFL in passer rating this season, will sign a four-year extension with the Redskins as soon as he is able, March 14, for $23.5 million per year PLUS a $71 million guarantee. Meanwhile Colin Kaepernick, who once beat him out for the starting job in San Francisco, is three years younger and has won four times as many postseason games, will remain the fittest dude at my gym.

4. Whether Stormy

The Stormy Daniels interview on Jimmy Kimmel Live was a major letdown, kind of like renting Good Will Humping and learning that there’s no Casey Affleck. I’d throw most of the blame on this on Kimmel: he and his producers knew she wasn’t going to be able to discuss her Trump Tryst. It did not help that she is functionally inarticulate.

Melania shows up to the SOTU. First she stole one First Lady’s speech, now she pilfers another’s white pants suit???

Best Moments: During his monologue, when he rebuked S.E. Cupp’s criticism that he should have Monica Lewinsky on for equal time and he played back clips of her appearing on his previous show on three different occasions. That was sweet. Also, he was able to show that a press release apparently denying her assignation with Trump included a forged signature of hers. And she basically did a non-denial denial of the NDA. Finally, he did paint a picture that we had wondered about: the idea of Trump coming home from his SOTU, flicking on the TV, and watching her on JKL. Or at least of Melania doing so from another bedroom.

5. Running’s Latest Teen Phenom

Faster than you can ask, “What ever happened to Mary Cain?” here comes North Rockland High School sophomore Katelyn Tuohy of Thiells, N.Y. Eleven days ago she ran a national high school record 15:37 in the 5,000, lowering the existing mark by 18 seconds. In that race, which took place in Virginia and featured much of the top prep talent in the nation, the second-place finisher came in two minutes later.


Tuohy, 15, won the Nike Cross Country Nationals in December by 40 seconds. Again, that’s a ridiculous margin. Tuohy lives just west of the Hudson river, not far from West Point. She lives just 30 miles to the northwest of Cain, who is now an upperclassman at Fordham and has been hampered by injuries. Tuohy, who will run in the Millrose Games on Saturday, is U.S. running’s next great ingenue.


Today’s greatest reason the internet exists…


Goodbye, Super Blood Moon. We hardly knew ya’….

Music 101

Love My Way

The one 20th century musician who gets name checked in Call Me By Your Name? That would be Richard Butler, lead singer of the Psychedelic Furs. This 1982 classic by the British New Wave band makes two separate appearances in the film, which reminds us that the freshest new talent at Saturday Night Live is Heidi Gardner (“Okayyyy, random”).

Remote Patrol

Flyers at Capitals

8 p.m. NBC Sports Net

Hockey? Yes, hockey! The Caps lead the Norris Division and Alex Ovechkin leads the NHL in goals (30) and remains the most dominant player scorer on ice. He’s like Ronaldo or Federer with the strange difference being that he has never hoisted a major championship trophy in his sport (Stanley Cup or Olympic gold).

8 thoughts on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. Jdub, the hockey analysis is a bit light there. Ovechkin is def the best pure goal scorer of last 10-15 years, but he is nowhere near the most dominant player. No Defense and his ‘talented’ teams have not made it to even the Conf finals.

  2. Make that a 40-bagger! 🙂 🙂 🙂

    Meanwhile, your BA is up big again today! How long do you plan to own this? At least a year (which for you I guess would be “long-term”)? I don’t follow this stock so can you tell us what has been the catalyst for its recent (last 3-5 months) spurt? How much farther do you see it going? BTW, very happy for you!

    As for the horrible event last night (well, the OTHER horrible event), I didn’t watch the game as I just wanted to “get thru January Hell” & THEN go back to watching Sweet Pea & the boyz. Nooooooooooo! Can NOT believe it! Thank goodness the Winter Olympics will be starting soon to distract me!

    Hey, did you see the one hour doc on Mikaela Monday night? The biggest impression on me is that (as with Lindsey) she is ON the USA team but not really WITH them; she has her own team of people that she trains, travels & stays with. Maybe the rest of the women’s American World Cup ski team does train & interact with Mikaela more than what was seen on that doc, but from what was shown, they may as well be from different countries. I would imagine this does not exactly foster “team unity”. Still, you can’t argue with her results. At least until the past week. Which I chalk up to attempting too many different race types (i.e. ALL the technical & speed races) in a short period. And probably just being tired too. Hopefully, she’ll be able to rest up & train over the next 11 days & be raring to go in her 1st event, the Giant Slalom.

    • Congrats, Susie B! I’m looking forward to your hostile takeover/buyout of this site and installing Jacob A. as the new Poobah of Grandeur.

      My two untouchables are AMZN and BA. Plan on holding both until I have to start swirling my hair around to hide the bald spot a la the prez.

      • Now that Amazon is taking more initiative in my line of work (healthcare), I may just jump ship over there and join Bezos on the path to world domination.

        In all seriousness, if Amazon, Berkshire and JP Morgan (really, AMZN is going to be calling the shots) knock this thing out of the ball park, the game is over. Where is there nice real estate in Seattle? I’ll be there tomorrow.

        Susie B. would never appoint me, because 1) I’d talk too much about blockchain; 2) I’d under analyze Sweet Pea; 3) my rebuttals in the comment section would be more interesting than the actual post.

        Susie B., does this mean I can clamor about my 100-bagger in 5 years when Bitcoin and/or Ethereum is trading at 100,000 +? : )

        • Sure Jacob, once your Bitcoin “investments” reach 100-bagger status, you can crow ALLLLLL you want. Just as long as I can crow if/when you lose allllll your money. 🙂

          Of course, once you actually have an “investing mistake”, you can join our “We Coulda Been Contenders!” millionaires club. I thought I was the only member here at MH until 2 days ago when jdubs revealed his $11 million ‘tragic’ history. He’s now the new President since his “coulda” , er, “trumps” mine. 🙂

  3. John –

    I’d read that there were several rebuttal speeches from the Dems last night, but watch/listened to none of them.

    Other than what looks like drool coming out the sides of his mouth and constant crowd/ovation interruptions (not unlike the SOTU itself), this one from Joe K. was pretty good. The content sounded Sorkin/West Wing/Bartlett-esque, and, at times, the cadence sounded a bit like Obama.

  4. And jdubs, unless you’ve been doctoring your photos with shoe polish, etc, I think you’ll probably have a full head of hair (non-swirling variety) when you’re 100. It’s GENETIC. 🙂

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