by John Walters

Tweet du Jour


This extinction is entirely man-made.

And then…


Starting Five

“Stuart! What are youuuuu doing here?”

1. The Californian

Despite the affirmations of Albert Hammond, it does rain in southern California, even if you’re the presumptive number one overall pick in next month’s NFL draft and it’s your pro day and scouts are there to see you throw.

No one called off Sam Darnold‘s pro day, however, and the USC passer threw in the rain and the world didn’t end. By all accounts, Darnold is not going to be able to escape the clutches of the Cleveland Browns. So do the Giants take Saquon Barkley or do they pick a quarterback, and whom?

2. No Chicks Allowed

White House meets with Saudis, Wednesday. Is it still International Women’s Day?

3. Whether Stormy

CBS announced that the 60 Minutes Stormy Daniels interview will air this Sunday (with a lead-in from an Elite Eight game, natch!) and that it will last 20 minutes. As one tweep offered, “I usually watch Stormy Daniels on screen for about three minutes and then strangely become disinterested.

Frank Bruni of the NYT had an interesting insight as to the president’s dearth of tweets or put-downs regarding one Stephanie Clifford, a.k.a. Daniels, a.k.a. Peggy Peterson.

Meanwhile, like you, we have empathy for Melania. I mean, it can’t be easy to be the First Lady as news breaks that your husband is a philanderer and the opposition party is trying to impeach him. That’s probably why, as was the case with Hillary Clinton, Melania is garnering so much empathy.

Yes, we kid. So the question is, How come America hated Hillary for standing by her husband but feels so protective of Melania for not abandoning hers? A few reasons: 1) Melania is prettier 2) Hillary is smart 3) Melania almost never speaks and 4) and this is the big one, Hillary is ambitious.

4. Bitcoin Gets En-Dorsey-ment

Twitter CEO and nowhere-near-as-nerdy-looking-as-Zuckerberg tech magnate Jack Dorsey came out yesterday and proclaimed to The Times (UK), “The world ultimately will have a single currency, the internet will have a single currency. I personally believe that it will be bitcoin… probably over ten years, but it could go faster.”

Whoa. And after we just sold all of our Bitcoin. Sure, Susie B. has her ears plugged and keeps repeating, “Tulips! Tulips! Tulips!” but what if Jack’s right? And shouldn’t he know more about the future of business and tech than we do? And what if you took that gamble? How many chances will you have in your lifetime to increase your net worth 10x or 100x or even 1,000x on one wager?

I mean, if you passed on Apple and Amazon…something to think about.

5. The Slugger

When your name is Blaze Jordan, you don’t need a nickname. The 15 year-old Southaven, Mississippi, native has yet to start lifting weights but is possessed of farm boy strength. As an 11 year-old he smacked a 395-foot home run and two years later he was able to launch rockets 500 feet. He’s 6’1″, 215 pounds and he’s only just starting to shed the baby fat.

Blaze Jordan. Remember the name. How would you forget?

Music 101


The Jacksonville-based band Classics IV had a No. 5 hit with this moody paean to a lass whom singer Dennis Yost hoped would “bring back that sunny day.” The president cannot hope for anything near that much, we imagine.

Remote Patrol

March Madness

7 p.m.

CBS Nevada vs. Loyola

TBS Texas A&M vs. Michigan

9 p.m.

CBS Kansas State vs. Kentucky

TBS Florida State vs. Gonzaga

Hamadou Diallo can fly

A double doubleheader, although TCM is coming guns a’ blazin’ with a doubleheader of Sunset Boulevard (8 p.m.) and Gone With The Wind (10 p.m.). We like Nevada, A&M, Kentucky and Gonzaga, but not William Holden or Vivian Leigh.

4 thoughts on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. The world will have a SINGLE currency? In what CENTURY? Or do we just have to wait till ARMAGEDDON? Dorsey may be a tech genius but he understands NOTHING about global politics let alone the unceasing fight for POWER & WEALTH by both individual humans & countries. Hey, what’s the “genius” say about the Middle East? Bet he thinks that pesky MILENNIA-OLD situation can get solved by next month…

    As for you jdubs, I can’t keep up with whether you think Bitcoin (et al) is a good investment or not. You’re in, you’re out, you’re in & pick it as MH’s Stock of the Year, you apologize for said pick & I assume you were out. Are you back in again? “You put your right foot in, you put your right foot out, you put your right foot in & you shake it all about, You do the Hokey Pokey & you turn yourself around, that’s what it’s all about”. IS THAT WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT? 🙂

    And I have NO empathy for Melania. NONE. She’s a liar just like her scumbag husband.

    Back to Bitcoin. Remember when they said it was “unhackable”? Hahaha, how’d that work out for the folks that have lost MILLIONS so far? Who exactly can help track down the culprits? Who or where’s the “SEC” for cryptocurrencies? Whoever thought this up must be laughing their asses off as so far, it’s the biggest FRAUD of all time. Wait, Madoff’s got lots of free time in the joint, maybe HE’s behind it. 😉

    • Susie B!

      3 grads on Bitcoin and nothing on the rhino? Heartbreaking.

      Anyway, I have only hundreds of dollars in Bitcoin now. Nothing more than MH pocket change. I just like keeping track of what people are saying.

      • Um, today’s Bitcoin investors (or at least their money) will one day be as extinct as the White Rhino? 😉

        Why do you think Rhinos have those big horn things up front followed by a smaller horn-thing? I keep trying to discern the evolution of that & come up with bupkis. What does it help them do besides attack or nudge their mate when they’re hogging the covers. 🙂 And if it’s for attacking, why didn’t ALL animals develop them?

        Hey, if the 80% of America that has HAD IT UP TO HERE with The Sociopath & his enabling GOP Nazis in Congress finally do something about it, maybe we’ll be able to refer to the Republican Party one day (soon, please,please,please) as the, wait for it, WHITE RHINO Party? 🙂 Oh ok, no need to link that poor animal to such a disgusting subgroup of humanity.

  2. Susie B.,

    You’re going to die on this hill, aren’t you?

    Would love for you to justify your claim that it is the biggest fraud of all time.

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