by John Walters

Tweet du Jour

This is beyond perfect. What he did to women, he’s now doing to the flag and the country. Thanks for the symbolism, Donald.

Starting Five

1. Russia Wins Nyet Again

Russia 3, Egypt 1. The Reds now have a +7 goal differential after two matches. The only other three host countries who have been that far ahead after two matches all went on to win the World Cup. So the question becomes, will Russia visit the White House after it wins (you bet)?

By the way, after yesterday’s upset wins by Japan and Senegal every continent except Australia and Antarctica (the latter is not entered) has a win in this World Cup already.

2. Dow and Out

After more than 120 years, General Electric is booted from the Dow Index. When the Dow was created in 1896, a dozen companies made up the index. Now the Dow is comprised of 30 companies and yesterday GE, whose stock is flagging ($12.75), became the final original member to disappear from it. Maybe they should focus on electric cars?

Walgreen’s will replace it. Relegation is not limited to soccer.

3. Luka vs. Deandre

Who’s No. 1? Luka Doncic is 6’8″, he’s 19, he passes like Magic Johnson, and he was MVP of the Euros last summer. His coach there, Igor Kokoskov, was hired two months ago by the Phoenix Suns (coincidence?). The former is Slovenian, the latter Serbian. Close enough.

Deandre Ayton is 7’1″, runs like a deer, has a soft touch from 15 feet, spent his final two seasons of high school ball and only season of college ball in Arizona, and wants to be No. 1. The Suns’ owner, Robert Sarver, is an alum of the school (U of A) that Ayton attended.

Do either of these ties matter? In a post-GSW NBA, does having a 7’1″ center matter as much as having a 6’8″ wizard who can stretch the half court? Can the Suns at least breathe a sigh of relief that Ayton doesn’t have a stage dad like LaVar or Marvin II?

The brain says Ayton. The heart says Doncic. We’ll see…

4. Talking Dread

If you ain’t Hearst, you’re last…

We don’t know the amiable, Jesuit high school-educated host of all those shows that air immediately after our favorite AMC shows do, but if we had to call this one, we’d side with Chris Hardwick and not his ex, Chloe Dykstra. But then who’d have thunk all that about Louis C.K. nine months ago?

Anyway, in reading up on Hardwick, the oddest thing we learned is that his wife is Lydia Hearst, which means that his mother-in-law is Patty Hearst, a woman who knows more than a thing or two about controlling relationships and being unjustly detained.

5. Grass Man

This man, Rodney Smith, Jr., was inspired to perform a single act of kindness and now it has turned into a crusade: mowing lawns pro bono for veterans and/or the disabled. He’s a mower and a shaker!

Music 101

Voices Carry

Aimee Mann is on tour and at age 57 she still looks like a supermodel and sings like an angel. Mann wrote this song in 1985 when she was the lead singer of Til Tuesday and it shot up to No. 8. If you’re nice, she’ll close with this song.

Remote Patrol

World Cup

Iran v. Spain

2 p.m. Fox

Weapons of Mass Destruction vs. the Inquisition. You make the call.


6 thoughts on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. Phoenix, as you know, is full of U of A grads, and they love their hoops (Sun Devils-Cats basketball games in Tempe have routinely drawn more U of A fans than ASU fans). So if the choice between Ayton and Doncic is close the extra ticket sales that Ayton would bring might be the difference.

  2. I’m with Wally. As a friend-in-the-know told me yesterday, “you’d have to be f—ing crazy not to pick Ayton.” The Suns need to rekindle the flame!

    • To begin, I’m not even sure what SPECIFIC allegations Chloey put forward. Second, they were dating. They were living together, I think.

      I could be wrong, but have been around his type a lot, and I’ve seen him on TV a lot. He seems painfully personable, aware of others, thoughtful, not a testosterone a-hole. Not even a narcissist.

      If he struck her, sure, it’s possible, but that would surprise me. You never know what happens between a couple, but I just don’t think he’s an abusive personality. Not even close. I could be wrong.

  3. I just checked the Spain-Iran ‘game update” on ESPN & I see that Spain, er, won but then I scrolled down to see the “stats” & Spain possessed the ball 78% (!) of the time, had 18 (!) shots on Goal & came away with ONE score? I guess a win is a win, but does Iran have the best goalkeeper of all time or is Spain NOT really one of the so-called “prohibitive favorites” to win it all? So far I’m thinking the rush to fire their Head Coach (manager, whatever they call it in WC soccer) mere DAYS before the World Cup was NOT the best idea…

    I hope Fox shows the Portugal game tonight instead of that, er, Spanish flu. I also hope the commentators are not the same as on yesterday’s Columbia game. I PLANNED to watch it, started to watch it & then clicked it off because I couldn’t take the one commentator. So far, my fave announcing team is the American woman (Aly?) & the Scottish (?) guy; just very entertaining & informative. The only drag is they are not actually in Russia! WTF?!

    The Late Night WC show was better last night but can someone tell me who that Fiore guy is? And WHY he was picked for an American TV World Cup broadcast as HOST? I think he’d possibly be fun as one of the guests on the couches, but he is DREADFUL as the guy trying to orchestrate. Just awful.

    So yes, Russia won again & qualified 1st for the Knockout Round, much to the shock of the soccer cognoscenti & the delirium joy of the home fans. My question is whose urine will they be using in their dope tests? What, you think the Russian DOPING would stop just because they were caught, er RED-handed at Sochi? Get outta here, the WC is in Russia, was there ANY doubt they would do WHATEVER it took to have a good showing?

    Speaking of, er, “pea”, no confirmed updates but mucho speculation on where Sweet Pea plays next year. If I crossed my fingers any harder, I’ll develop Carpal Tunnel….”anywhere but CA, anywhere but CA!” I even click my heels together as I chant. 🙂

    And I like Mo Bamba! I’ve never seen him play but he’s got the best name of the bunch (possibly 2nd best of ALL TIME after “Leewwwww Al-CINN-DOORRRR”) AND I heard him in an interview & he’s thoughtful, well-spoken & just very impressive. Please tell me he’s good as I’m already imaging the arena announcer “& there’s another rebound/shot by MO BAMMMBAAA!” 🙂

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