by John Walters

Tweet Me Right

Not a Schitt’s Creek fan, I see.  Whitaker works directly for the president, while Mueller works directly for the Attorney General, which is why the former needs Senate approval and the latter does not. We covered this in Civics class last week, Donald. Where were you?

Starting Five

The President walks with the ex-husband of his oldest son’s girlfriend

1. Rake America Great Again*

*The judges will also accept “Forest Gumption”

Drain the swamp.

Sweep the forest.

What an idiot.

You can’t just pave Paradise and put up a parking lot.

2.  Condi Nasty!

Yesterday Adam Schefter reported that the Cleveland Browns want to interview former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice for their head coaching job. Granted, literally anyone would not do worse than Cleveland’s 0-16 season a year ago, but if you’re going for former Secretaries of State, hell, Henry Kissinger is still living.

We look forward to the Dawg Pound being re-christened the Rice Paddy.

3. Carnage in Macau

Sophia Florsch, 17, was traveling roughly 171 m.p.h. at this Formula 3 race in Macau when she hit the back of another driver’s vehicle and somehow catapulted like a rocker over the wall and above the people clad in orange below. Remarkably, nobody died and Florsch, while suffering a few broken vertebrae, will not be paralyzed.


4. The Old Man And The Pee

Now playing on Netflix, an eight-episode series, The Kominsky Method, starring Michael Douglas and Alan Arkin. They’re a pair of Hollywood best friends. Sandy Kominsky (Douglas) is a well-regarded acting coach who never quite made it big in film or TV and Norman Newlander (Arkin) is a very succcessful agent.

Created by Chuck Lorre (Two and A Half Men, The Big Bang Theory), it’s very, very good but just shy of great. Arkin, unsurprisingly, is a treasure and the best part of the show. Lisa Edelstein is criminally under-utilized. Douglas pokes a lot of fun at himself. There’s a little too much about peeing and prostates and not enough of Kominsky in his acting class, which is a fertile ground to plumb. They should’ve done more of that. But the banter between Arkin, 84, and Douglas, 74, is terrific. Worth it for that alone.

5. Frozen Force*

*The judges will also accept “The Frigids of Madison Cross Country”

The NCAA Cross Country Championships were held in frigid Madison, Wisconsin, on Saturday around high noon. Snow on the ground, temps in the low thirties. Not great, Bob. But Dani Jones (55, above), a native of Phoenix, won the women’s race while leading Colorado to the women’s team championship.

On the men’s side, Northern Arizona pulled off a historic team three-peat while Wisconsin’s Morgan McDonald won the individual title on his home course.

Music 101

My Doorbell

The White Stripes are THE rock and roll band of this century. Or, were.

Remote Patrol

Chiefs at Rams

8 p.m. ESPN

Football’s two best teams, both 9-1, meet not in Mexico City but in a Mexican-named city: Los Angeles. We know, Spanish-named, don’t @ us.

One thought on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. OMG! It’s not a miracle that the driver didn’t die, but those orange jacket people?! THAT’s a MIRACLE! And hey jdubs, if Sophia was NOT wearing a helmet nor the car outfitted with safety devices, would that qualify as a “great human achievement”? 😉

    Ok, ok, I’m a bit cranky but I have a good excuse. My stock portfolio is down 18% since 10/4! And the % figure doesn’t look as bad as the actual money figure. ARGH! I should have known something was up when my stock acct peaked on my friggin birthday. Last year, my 401-K reached a much sought BIG goal-level on the b-day & then my dad died the next day. This year, my stock acct peaked & it’s been ‘Dunkirk’ ever since! I’m beginning to think my birthday is damn unlucky!

    Anyhoo, I have been nibbling at some stocks on the way down. Bought a teensy bit more NVDA today at $149. Of course, 2 of the new dividend-type stocks I reeaaaally want to buy keep going UP! It’s like the market is going “nahnahneenahnah” at me!

    Condi Rice as a NFL Head Coach? Gee, I guess the Browns want just a LEETLE PUBLICITY!

    And no offense, jdubs, but those green/blue/yellow eyesore uniforms the Domers wore LAST week were actually better than the pinstriped monstrosities this past Saturday! They didn’t even fit the players right! I know, I know where they were playing, but that doesn’t excuse the coldblooded murder of fashion sense!

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