by John Walters

Tweet Me Right


Starting Five

Merry Christmas! DON’T PANIC!

Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin, vacationing in Cabo with his Scottish mail-order bride, phones the heads of major U.S. banks to make sure their stockings are not filled with coal (but, you know, clean coal!), then writes a note to America saying not to worry. Oooooooooooo-kay.


Don’t you love it when the country’s supposed leading financial expert is borrowing from the opening sentence of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to The Galaxy?

In front of a packed house and Bill Walton at Wells Fargo Arena, the Arizona State Sun Devils took down No. 1 Kansas. It’s only the second time the Sun Devils have defeated a No. 1 (at Oregon State, 1981) but it’s also the second time Bobby Hurley’s Devils have beaten the Jayhawks in the past 13 months (they won at No. 2 Kansas last season).

ASU trailed by 8 in the final minutes before going on a 10-0 run, and then holding off the Jayhawks in the final minute.

3. Jesus Christ, Rock Star

As you head off to church this evening or tomorrow morning, remember you are celebrating the birth of a baby whose parents were refugees, who were repeatedly refused entry at inns even though the mother was about to give birth. Remember that this person whose birth you celebrate never owned land, never held a job, never got married or had kids, never had any earthly wealth. He wore a beard (and probably had an ankle tattoo).

Also, that He was utterly uncompromised in his values. He never said, “Whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers, that you do unto me…unless that brother is illegally crossing a border.” He never said, “He who lives by the sword shall die by the sword…but it’s better to be a good guy with a sword.”

He was a refugee child. He was an instigator. A pain in the ass. He was not someone who made exceptions to rules out of convenience. Just something to remember as you head off to worship.

4. Tsunami Disaster*

*The judges will not accept “Wipeout”, “Crash Into Me” or “Edge of Seventeen.” It’s Christmas, for Lord’s sake.

Nearly 400 people are known to be dead after a tsunami came ashore on the Indonesian island of Java. The pop band Seventeen had just finished a song when the wave, like something out of a movie, crashed through the screen behind the stage. The band’s lead singer survived. Its bassist and manager died, while its guitarist and drummer are missing.

5. Remember: Always Keep Your Tips Up

Music 101

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

Don’t ask why The Boss is playing this song in the summertime (Sept. 20, 1978) or why he says, “He’s making a wish/He’s checking it twice…”. Merry Christmas from the entire MH staff, both domestic and abroad.

Remote Patrol

Family Hour.

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