by John Walters

Tweet Me Right

Actually, 7.69 seconds but still the fastest in Premier League annals.

Starting Five

R.I.P. City

In Game 5 at the Moda Center, the first and last buckets of the second half were made by the same man from virtually the same spot on the court: Damian Lillard from 34-37 feet out.

The first bucket put the Blazers up 64-60. The last, as the clock struck 0:00, put the Thunder away, 118-115. In between OKC went up by 15 points with 7 1/2 minutes remaining, but PTL (if one can OKC, the other can PTL) raced back.

Lillard’s rainbow three as time expired—he never even attempted to penetrate closer with All-Star Paul George guarding him—put a nice even 50 in the score book next to his name. Imagine, the size of those nads to not only want the shot with a chance to win the series as time expires, but saying to yourself, I think I’ll just do this from another zip code. That shot beat every playground-all-by-yourself moment we’ve ever had.

The Thunder, eliminated in the first round for the third straight year since KD departed, have now lost 12 road playoff games in a row.

Avengers: Endgame 7

In San Jose, the Vegas Golden Knights led the Sharks 3-0 in Game 7 of their first-round series. There were but 10 minutes remaining. This one was on ice in more than one way.

Then Cody Eakin of the GK cross-checked Joe Pavelski on a face-off, got a 5-minute major, and the Sharks, seeing blood on frozen water, behaved accordingly. They scored 4 goals in the next 4 minutes to take a 4-3 lead. Let me repeat that: Down 3-0, they scored 4 goals in 4 minutes deep in the third period. In Game 7.

But it wasn’t over. The Golden Knights scored in the final minute to force overtime. But then San Jose scored in OT to take the series. Madness.

Olivia (No Hussey)

de Havilland and Errol Flynn

Watching the original Robin Hood the other night and noticed that Olivia de Havilland plays Maid Marian, which means that in consecutive years, and before her 24th birthday, the Bay Area-reared actress had landed major roles in Robin Hood and Gone With the Wind. Not a bad two-fer.

A couple other things to know about de Havilland: 1) She is one of only 20 actresses to win at least TWO Oscars and only the third to do so after Bette Davis and Luise Rainer, 2) She seriously dated Jimmy Stewart, who proposed to her but she turned him down, 3) her sister was Joan Fontaine, who also won a Best Actress Oscar and 4) this is the most WOW! thing: though hers was the only lead character among the four in Gone With The Wind to (SPOILER ALERT!!!!) die, de Havilland is still alive! That’s right. She’s 102 years old (we’ll keep checking on this to update), which has to make her the oldest living Oscar winner.

No Luke Pass?*

*The judges are still mulling “No Luke Passion”

Former USC volleyball player, former SoCal based TV reporter and still tall Kelli Tennant has filed a sexual assault charge against newly fired L.A. Laker head coach and even more newly hired Sacramento Kings head coach Luke Walton.

Did you get all that? The alleged incident took place at a plush Santa Monica hotel (plush Santa Monica hotels are veritable petri dishes for alleged incidents…trust us) when Walton was an assistant coach with the Warriors. She had written a book, he wrote the foreword, she offered to drop off a copy at the hotel, he told her to park so that they could visit, she went up to his room, her allegations are that he forcibly pushed her down and groped her and welllllllllllllll, whatever happened, I don’t like her shot in court. Which is nothing personal against her.

By the way, Tennant never stipulated who got off the elevator first.

Meanwhile, Walton’s attorney has stated that Tennant’s claim is “baseless” and added, “The accuser is an opportunist, not a victim, and her claim is not credible.”

He’s 39. She’s 31. He’s 6’8.” She’s 6’2″ (we challenge you to find another news site story on this incident that supplies this basic information).

We’ll stand by and let you know what Stephen Moore thinks about all of this as soon as he issues a statement.

Canada Cry

North of our border, their long national nightmare continues. Canadia, the nation that invented hockey (and basketball, but that’s another story), will endure another spring without Lord Stanley’s Cup.

When the Toronto Maple Leafs fell in Game 7 to the Boston Bruins last night, they ensured that Canadia’s Stanley Cup drought, which began in 1994, would continue at least another season. Calgary and Winnipeg were knocked out of the playoffs last week/weekend, and Toronto, which has not hoisted the Cup since 1967, fell 5-1 in Boston.

How it feels to be a Leafs fan right now

The Montreal Canadiens, in 1993, were the last Canadian franchise to win the Cup. We’ve now gone a full quarter-century in a country where winter Saturday nights are built around watching hockey on television, without another Canadian club savoring victory.

If it’s any solace, and it isn’t, there’s a good chance that whatever team hoists the Cup in June will have a few Canadiens on the roster.


At The Kofa, Kofa Cabana

Longtime Phoenicians know the experience of driving to Los Angeles (approx. 5 hours) along I-10 and also of making the near-parallel drive to San Diego (approx. 6 hours) along I-8 but most have never spent any time in the western Arizona desert between the two interstates. With good reason: there are no real towns and nary a road betwixt.

What most people, Arizonans and non-, are unaware of is that there is a dedicated wilderness area in between those two interstates. Fewer even know why it is there.

The Kofa National Wildlife Refuge is 665,400 acres of land (roughly the size of Rhode Island) that has been set aside almost entirely for the purpose of protecting Arizona’s native bighorn sheep population. The refuge was established in 1939—what a time to be alive, when civic leaders actually did what was best for the land instead of thinking of it only in terms of commercial development or what natural resources could be mined or taken out of the area.

The landscape, as you can see, is dramatic and beautiful. It’s also an afterthought to even the most adventurous of Arizonans. If there’s one quadrant of the state that is least visited/most forgotten, it is the southwest corner.

The herd currently numbers between 450-500

It should also be noted that the refuge might not exist were it not for a massive letter-writing campaign by Arizona’s Boy Scouts (is it any surprise that the refuge was dedicated in the same year Mr. Smith Goes To Washington was released?). Astounding, isn’t it, how so many boys’ hearts and minds are in the right place, until they become men and money-obsessed and then, well, the environment gets f***ed.

Here’s to a better time, when people respect the wonders of the natural world. Which is not the time we are currently living in, at least not reflected by the “leaders” we have.

Music 101

Don’t Cry

In the mid-Eighties Henry Samuel was homeless, sleeping on a friend’s couch in London, and wondering aloud if he sang okay. Um, yup. Seal has one of the most naturally ethereal (is that a thing?) male voices in pop music history. This tune, from 1995, only hit No. 33 on the Billboard chart but to be fair, America was a little worn out from the sheer merciless radio bombardment of “Kiss From A Rose,” that album’s first single, by this point.

Remote Patrol

Nova: Saving The Dead Sea

9 p.m. PBS

If for no other reason to square it in your mind the difference between the Dead Sea and the Red Sea, you may want to tune in. Remember: Red Sea, parted; Dead Sea, scrolls. Anyway, some geniuses want to connect the two seas via a desalinization plant in order to save the Dead Sea and, in the process, bring eternal peace to the Middle East. But you’d probably rather watch Survivor (facepalm).

7 thoughts on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. I can guarantee you if ANY mineral or substance of value is ever discovered in those 665,400 acres (!), those Big Ass (sorry, “Horn”) Sheep will have to ‘move’. BTW, does a sheep REALLY need 1300 acres to call his/her own? I mean, that’s a LOT of land! I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder as I, ahem, see mostly dirt, cactus, & rocks & the knowledge that there must be more than one rattler rattlin’ around. I like the sheep though! 🙂

    You forgot to mention that sisters Olivia & Joan HATED each other at least thru their entire adult lives. I can no longer remember if the animosity began in childhood or not until they both went into the same profession & thus were competitors.

    I agree with what you wrote about the college financial “crisis”. It is RIDICULOUS that a college education costs such exorbitant amounts in THIS COUNTRY these days. One of your commenters wrote it is because states have drastically cut their funding. I guess that is a large part, but do you think that is the only reason? I do not. What about all the private schools, whose prices have escalated even more? BTW, what’s your opinion on the idea of existing student loan debtors having ALL that DEBT suddenly vanish & they get off SCOTT FREE? Mine is, oh how can I politely put this – “OH HELL NO!” Sure, I’d be amenable to having a third to maaaaybe a half ‘paid off’ but they MUST HAVE SKIN IN THE GAME! They took on the debt, THEY need to pay at least a half! OR work at jobs that will pay it off for them. The banks certainly will not “waive” these debts so SOMEBODY’s gotta pay & that somebody would be the taxpayer (ME & YOU!). Do YOU really want to pay for some of the choices that 17-22 year olds make? I do NOT. Heck, I don’t want to pay for choices that some 50-70 year olds make! Including the power-mad, greed-mongering fascists currently in control of what passes for our “government” these days.

    Question for Jacob – are you telling us you DROPPED out of college that was FREE for you?! When did you ‘drop’ back in? Did you get all the financial aid back? What type of work do you do now or are you in grad school? BTW, are you a Millennial? I have yet to see an exact definition of that generation & in fact, see various year ranges all the time. The other day I saw 1979-2000. Really?! Does a 39-40 year old really have that much in common with a 19 year old? Even a 34 year old doesn’t have that much in common with a teen. And what is the name for the post-Millennial generation? Generation Z?

    • Susie B.

      I’m all for less developed land in Arizona. What you Easterners fail to understand—and trust me, I’ve lived in Connecticut—is that there are states older than this country that still have so much rural area and are not growing because, well, YOUR WEATHER SUCKS FOR SIX MONTHS A YEAR. Arizona is metastasizing with humans and it’s tough to watch. Even in my 41 years of being here, I’ve watched the type of growth that you just do not see on the other side of the Rockies. I am that Indian standing on the side of the road with a tear dribbling down my cheek.

      I’m totally with you on the education deal. Forgive SOME of the debt, not all of it. I don’t believe in free college or in free housing. I do believe in free WiFi, however.

    • Also, as you may have guessed, Susie B., the sanctuary is home to many other forms of wildlife: coyotes, a few mountain lions, jackrabbits, bats, mule deer, Gila monsters and yes, likely some big-ass and scary diamondback rattlers.

      The desert is an unforgiving but beautiful environment.

      It’s just another example of how the only thing keeping Earth from being paradise is us. But then, who’d be around to appreciate it? The eternal paradox.

    • Susie B.,

      Yes, I dropped out of a FREE education. “Free” isn’t synonymous with “value”. Life is about opportunity costs. I could half finished my time, got the degree, check all the boxes “adults” approve of and went on my merry way. OR I could trust my gut, put some skin in the game and learn life the way it it supposed to be learned: by living.

      I did not return and have never regretted my decision. The internet is the best education anyone can receive, as long as you can stay focused.

      I focus on industries. I got my start in healthcare, had a chance to travel some and now work as an independent contractor for various startups across the country. I’ve learned initiative gets you quite far in life.

  2. One more thing, jdubs. If a stock has gone up by “400%”, it means you have made 5 times your investment, not 4. For example, if a stock has increased “100%”, you have DOUBLED your money, if 200%, you have tripled, etc. So, if AMZN did go up 400%, that $100,000 would be worth $500k. And FTR, I’m all for AMZN going up 300% or 400% the next 4 years! 🙂 However, what if little Johnny or Susie stick that $100K into AMZN, join the military for 4 years (which would then pay for part of their college, no? But I digress) & while they were “seeing the world”, the market CRASHES & it takes 4 MORE years just to get back to that $100K? (see years 2000-2002; dotcom crash) Four year is TOO SHORT of time to invest “must-have” money. (UNLESS the market has just crashed 35-50%, then you can back up the proverbial truck! But most people can’t stomach it and THAT’S why MOST buy at the worst time AND sell at the worse time!

    • You’re right on the math, Susie B. My bad.

      As for what you are counter-proposing, I take the $100K principle out, start paying for tuition, let the other $300K gestate for at least 4 years. It’s still a better option unless the market crashes. But thinking that way is never a way to win. It’s like being afraid to do anything because of worrying about the worst possible outcome.

      As a few friends on here and Twitter have pointed out, we’re at BUBBLE level with college tuition. At some point the trend will reverse.

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