by John Walters

Tweet Me Right

MIB is our favorite celebrity couple.

Starting Five

Gleyber Torres, who has hit 10 home runs versus the O’s this season, is likely fine with the schedule as is


This afternoon the Orioles and Yankees will meet for the 12th time this season—and it would be the 13th were it not for a rainout last week that has yet to be made up. It’s not even Memorial Day yet and neither team has played its 50th game.

In short, the Yanks and O’s have spent more than 25% of their seasons playing one another and the season is nearly one-third over. And they still must play each other seven more times. There’s got to be a better way, baseball.

Chalk it up to the vicissitudes of the schedule? Perhaps, but why must interdivisional foes meet NINETEEN times per season? It’s 2019, here’s a better idea. Every team from both leagues plays each other at least one series per season. Here’s the breakdown:

–Intradivisional foes: play 14 times per season. There’s four interdivisional foes in each division thanks to baseball’s six-division, 30-team symmetry, so that’s 56 games.

–Interdvisional foes in same league play six times per season. There’s 10 such foes for every team so that’s 60 games.

–Interleague foes meet at least three times per season. There’s 15 teams in the other league so that’s 45 games.

That’s 56 + 60 + 45 = 161.

That leaves you one game short. Fine. Everyone play the Mets one more game. Or something. It’s still better than what we have now.

And for that person among you who’s going to ask, “What about the designated hitter?”, our answer is, “What about it?” Interleague play is already here. We just want to expand it.

The Walkout

The president was supposed to have a meeting with Senate Democrats Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi about one of the “I” words (Infrastructure? Immigration?) but instead stormed out of the room because what was really on his mind was a third “I” word (Impeachment). Then he addressed reporters on the South Lawn behind this just-happened-to-be-there sign.

By the way, the president has cost taxpayers more than $100 million via his golf habit in just a little over two years in office. Is there a sign for that?

Don’t Blame The South (-ern Hemisphere)

Jakarta is the largest city in the southern hemisphere

We heard one of those Doomsday/Man’s Fault analogies the other day. Goes like this: If the lifetime of the planet were one day, then civilized man came along in the last four minutes before midnight and he basically destroyed the earth in the final 10 seconds.

Think about it: the Industrial Revolution began less than 200 years ago, as did the introduction of fossil fuels and plastic. All of these three “innovations” have done far more harm to the planet than all those centuries of silly little wars.

But we are here to basically absolve the folks of the southern hemisphere. Of the planet’s 20 largest cities, only three are south of the equator: Jakarta, Indonesia; Sao Paolo, Brazil; and Buenos Aires, Argentina. And all the inventions that have, at least for a time, made life easier while slowly choking the planet, have come from folk above the equator. So we’d like to pretty much absolve the southern hemisphere.

Think about that the next time you don your “We The North” t-shirt.

Everest To Eternal Rest

Up for a little news about another death on Mount Everest? Of course you are. American Don Cash, 55, became the third climber to die on Everest this climbing season, but at least he reached the summit first.

Cash lost consciousness shortly after reaching the summit and two sherpas carried him 200 feet down to the Hilary Step (“Lock her up!”). However, the HS is infamous as a bottle-neck point on the trio had to wait two hours for climbers heading up the HS to clear before they could proceed down. In that time, Cash died.

He may have died anyway, of course. But whether you’re atop the world or in an ambulance on 9th Avenue at rush hour, there’s only so much first responders can do to save you if there’s traffic.

The Winklevi Revisited

Twins Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss, the famed “Winklevi” of The Social Network,are getting an image-polish from the very man who first turned them into a dual 6’5″ dumb-hunk punchline: Ben Mezrich.

A Harvard alum (’91) himself, Mezrich is the author who wrote The Accidental Billionaires, which Aaron Sorkin turned into The Social Network.


Now Mezrich is back with a tome on how the Winklevi took much of their payout from nemesis Mark Zuckerberg in Facebook stock, then saw the stock soar, then invested a couple of hundred thou of that windfall in Bitcoin back in 2013, and now have become billionaires themselves. The book, out this week, is titled Bitcoin Billionaires.

We’ve read four of Mezrich’s books. He’s entertaining and definitely prolific, but he readily admits in this one and in another book of his we’ve read (Once Upon A Time In Russia) that some of the scenes in his books are IMAGINED. Not a good look for a non-fiction author. Basically, Mezrich tells the stories (almost all of them based around Harvard figures; he lives in Boston) that Michael Lewis doesn’t have the time to write about but would do a better job with.

4 thoughts on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. That glut of games against the Orioles — currently the worst team in baseball — is one of the reasons the Yankees have such a good record despite the slew of injuries. The sites that do strength-of-schedule rankings all agree that the Yankees have played one of the five easiest schedules in MLB to date. The Yankees are 8-8 against teams that currently have a record of .500 or better, and 23-9 against everyone else.

    Not that it will get much tougher — the AL is way down, and really only 6 teams in that league are actively trying to win this year (NYY, BOS, TAM, MIN, CLE, HOU).

  2. I like your new MLB schedule. My only question is, should a change like that affect how playoff spots are determined? Division winners getting a spot makes sense to me now since so much of the schedule is made up of intradivision games. In your proposal those games are decreased so I’m wondering if we should just get rid of divisions altogether. Play each team in your league 8 times and each team in the other league 3 times for 165 games total (play a few as doubleheaders so the actual length of the season stays the same). I’m sure many teams wouldn’t like it since it means fewer games against traditional rivals but I think it’s a bit fairer and would give fans a chance to see players they never/rarely get to see from the other league.

    • Appreciate the comment, but to answer your question, No. Keep divisions as is. A team is still playing every team in its division MORE THAN TWICE AS MANY TIMES as any team outside of its division. All I’m suggesting is that we move down from over-overkill to overkill.

      Meanwhile, I like the idea that every team in baseball plays every other team at least one three-game series per year. What’s wrong with knowing that Aaron Judge is likely going to face Clayton Kershaw every season? What’s the upside of making this a once-in-three-seasons thing other than, “That’s the way we’ve always done it (since interleague play)?”

      It’s funny. The NBA season is half as long, every team gets at least a home-and-home, and nobody seems all that upset. I’m not even suggesting baseball go THAT FAR.

  3. Umm… Americans are prohibited by law from wearing “We The North” shirts. The Night’s Watch will kick your ace if you try and come across the border like that. The US is NOT The North. We (Canada) are the The North.)

    Just because we gave you Gretzky, Nash, Basketball, Apple Pie, Insulin, IMAX, Peanut Butter, Walkie Talkies, Gas Masks, Pacemakers, Sonar, the Jockstrap, Instant Replay, McAdams, Reynolds, Gosling, Neil Young, Feist, Light Bulbs, Wonderbras, the Zipper and Superman, just to name a few, don’t think we are going to let you co-opt us into your climate change record.

    A couple of other facts:

    1. Someone pulled out of the Paris accord – that’s the US.

    2. Since 1750, the US had more than double the carbon monoxide emissions than the next country (former USSR) on the list. (Vox April 24, 2019)

    3. Today the US, with just over 4 percent of the world’s population, is responsible for almost a third of the excess carbon dioxide that is heating the planet. China is responsible for less than a sixth. The 28 countries of the European Union, taken as a group, come in just behind the United States in historical emissions. Canada did not get mentioned. (NYT June 1, 2017)

    Canada is not perfect and has a ton of work to do on climate change but we are at least taking steps in the right direction. Don’t be dragging us into your mess.

    And don’t try to ride our coattails. We The North!!

    Did I mention the Goalie Mask, Snowmobiles and Poutine?! C’mon!!

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