by John Walters

Tweet Me Right

Starting Five

Don’t Come Back, Shane

Less than two weeks before his debut as a new comic on Saturday Night Live, Shane Gillis is fired by Lorne Michaels. Just too many racial slurs. Wow.

I’ve never heard Gillis’ act, but comedy is supposed to be pretty simple. If the audience laughs, you’re doing your job. If not, then go find another line of work. Gotta wonder if SNL will even cover this situation in the season premiere.

We’re not gonna explore the whole “Cancel Culture” movement, but it might’ve been funny if SNL kept Gillis around just long enough to invite Lesley Jones to return one last time and have her go Mogambo on his ass.

Closer Meets Loser

Resisting the urge to proclaim, “Look at my Panamanian!”, President Donald Trump bestowed the Medal of Freedom on former Yankee closer Mariano Rivera Monday. Mo was the first baseball player in MLB history to be unanimously voted into the Baseball Hall of Fame; Trump is the fifth president to lose the popular vote but still be elected president.

Trump said that Rivera began his career “in 1955” but by now you know that the president doesn’t really mean what he says unless he means what he says and it’s up to you to recognize the difference.

Pardon The Catharsis

Here’s Mike Greenberg‘s “I’m Mad As Hell And I’m Not Gonna Take It Any More!” moment, with a huge assist from Marcus Spears (why are former LSU defensive linemen so good on TV?). It’s so refreshing to get actual animus from an ESPN talking head, as opposed to what Screamin’ A does daily.

Is it just me or did this moment both remind you of that scene from Network but also the scene from The Green Mile in which Michael Clarke Duncan’s character gives Tom Hanks’ character a big ol’ hug and takes away all the pain?

A Yaz Goes Deep At Fenway

For those of us who remember the Seventies (and those of you who recall the Sixties…we see you, Susie B.!), there was no player more synonymous with the Boston Red Sox than Carl Yastrzemski. Yaz, now 80, remains ninth on the all-time Hits list with 3,419. Among Red Sox lifers, only Ted Williams was a better hitter (though military service kept him from compiling more base knocks).

So here comes Mike Yastrzemski last night, the grandson who’s a rookie for the San Francisco Giants, making his debut at Fenway Park last night in a late September game in an otherwise lost season for Red Sox fans. And what does he do? Gives fans of both clubs something to cheer about.

The Giants won 7-6 in 15 innings with Yaz, batting leadoff, going 2 for 7.

“The Hottest Spot In New York IS”

A few years ago at Newsweek our brilliant cubicle mate Alex Nazaryan pitched and then produced a piece on New York City hotel bars. We admired the temerity: visit swanky cocktail bars in Manhattan hotels and have the magazine underwrite all in the name of journalism. Genius, Alex!

We feel that our old friend, now covering politics for Yahoo!, may need to revisit his piece and add a new wrinkle: Department store bars. Above is Le Chalet, located on the 8th floor of Sak’s Fifth Avenue, which sits right across the street from Rockefeller Center. Basically, it has the view of 30 Rock that you see at the opening of 30 Rock.

If you find yourself on the 8th floor—designer women’s shoes, mostly—you may have to do a lap or two before you discover the discreet entrance to Le Chalet, which opened in February. There’s also an outdoor terrace.

And Nordstrom is opening a shop on Broadway and 58th that will also have a bar. Look, this is simple math: middle-aged women of means who think nothing of posting a four- or five-figure shopping tab are certainly not against a glass of rose or chardonnay.

Music 101

Call Me

Contrary to popular belief, the booty call was invented in the Sixties. Here’s Donna Loren performing it on Milton Berle’s variety show in 1966, but the song was originally recorded by Petula Clark one year earlier. It’s been covered by dozens of artists, but the version you may know best is by Chris Montez. If you suddenly feel you’re in the Pan Am airport lounge in 1966, well, you may be right.

5 thoughts on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. I miss Greeny! His show doesn’t come on till I’m leaving the house for work so I never get to see/hear him anymore. I was wondering how he was handling the JETS’ “season” so far. Question answered. Poor Greeny. How long will Darnold be out with mono? Plus, it may affect him the rest of the season, even when “cleared” to play. Ummm, why did you go to the recent game? Penitence? 😉 Just wanted to see Mayfield play in person?

    And speaking of NY football, is Eli REALLY the blame for the Giants being 0-2? He was blamed last year & I didn’t think that was true at all. So, what if they’re 0-6? Do they bring back Eli? My NFL viewership so far this season consists of 5 minutes watching the Mahomes kid last Sunday so I don’t really know anything, but maybe his “benching” is doing Eli a favor – does he really want to be the QB of a 0-6 or 2-14 team? Of course, as soon as that rookie gets injured, Eli may be back on the field anyway. And the way QBs are “falling”, that may be sooner rather than later.

    And speaking of QBs – will any NFL team “MAN UP” (unh, they use that phrase ad nauseum so it seems oh-so-fitting here!) & actually hire Kaepernick? What would be the odds?

    I haven’t watched much of college football either yet this season BUT I’m thinking of watching your alma mater vs GA! Does ND have a good chance? Any chance? No chance in hell?

    And yes, it seems I jinxed the Terps. Well, if they can’t beat TEMPLE, I won’t be holding my breath for them to finally beat some of the better B10 teams. At least they still have the BEST HELMETS IN CFB! 🙂 Although I have to say those bright blue helmets of Buffalo were prettee snazzy!

  2. And I keep forgetting to ask – did you watch the Serengeti mini-series on the Discovery channel? I missed the 1st 2 episodes but caught the final 4. I loved it! Don’t know HOW they got that footage! Of course, as usual when watching “animals in nature” shows, I get all teary when seeing a cute little baby zebra, gazelle, or lion(!), get preyed upon by a big bad predator. (Although they didn’t actually show us the final kill; the screen went black for which I was relieved). However, (& this probably reveals my lack of, um, character) but I didn’t get too upset when it was the oh-so-unattractive wildebeests taken down by the lions. OR the hyenas! Man, I just don’t like hyenas at all! I know, I know, I’m a preetee poor human to only care about the “cute” animals. In my defense, there are a MILLION wildebeests on the Serengeti! They outnumber all the other animals there I think & I had no idea. Who knew wildebeests were so, er, “productive”? 🙂

  3. Oh, oh, speaking of 4 days ago, it was SWEET PEA SUNDAY on the NBATV channel! I did not know until Sunday morning & was clicking around/looking at the on-screen TV Guide & there were all these Sweet Pea games back-back! I couldn’t watch them all, but saw 2.5. Including a game in his 2nd year, when he was a very cute 20 year old Baby Pea! He scored 56 pts against the Raptors. I also re-watched Game 7 of the 2013 Finals & goodness, I’d already forgotten how close that game was until the 4th quarter!

    I miss Sweet Pea. 🙁 🙁

  4. I’m back again (guess I’m just chatty today). So, I just saw a headline that the state of New Mexico wants to give FREE COLLEGE TUITION to all in-state (accepted) students. Beyond the question of who/what will pay for this ‘grant’, how would this impact scholarship athletes, if at all? If NO in-state student pays tuition, I’d think this would greatly negate the value of an athletic scholarship at those schools. Of course, this new ‘grant’ does not cover room & board, which is often more than tuition, but still. Do you think this would put even MORE pressure on these schools to then PAY their athletes? No longer could these schools tell their athletes “but you’re getting a valuable education for free!” when the kid down the hall doesn’t have to do 6AM wind sprints/laps or put their bodies on the line for the same “benefit”. What’s your take?

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