by John Walters

Starting Five

Is This It? (No)

After the president admitted that yes, he held back $400 million in aid to Ukraine and, yes, he asked the Ukrainian prime minister to investigate Hunter Biden after but NOOOOOO, there was no quid pro quo going on, after all this, after the years of callously ignoring the Emoluments Clause, ranking Democrat Nancy Pelosi finally announced that the House will begin a formal impeachment inquiry.

What’s it all mean? Here, read this. The House voted to impeach Andrew Johnson. And Bill Clinton. Neither left office because on top of that it also takes a 2/3 vote of the Senate and I don’t think the Senate would vote that way about Trump even if he came out and confessed that he was the Zodiac.

If we know President Trump, though, this will make him fighting mad, which means he’ll cater to the cameras, which means he’ll probably utter even more self-incriminating words. Stay tuned.

Strike ‘Em Out, Hit ‘Em Out

Ronald Acuna, Jr., is a budding superstar, but he’s also whiffed an MLB-most 188 times in 2019

For the 12th consecutive season, Major League Baseball has broken its single-season strikeout record (41,208 and counting). Meanwhile, last night the New York Yankees became the first team in MLB history to have FOURTEEN players with at least 10 home runs. The Yanks, who’ve already broken the single-season team home-run record for the second year in a row, are one home run shy of 300 for the year.

What ever happened to contact hitters? Rod Carew is weeping.

Blue Planet, Red Alert

From the BBC:

According to a UN panel of scientists, waters are rising, the ice is melting, and species are moving habitat due to human activities.

And the loss of permanently frozen lands threatens to unleash even more carbon, hastening the decline.

There is some guarded hope that the worst impacts can be avoided, with deep and immediate cuts to carbon emissions.

I think Greta Thunberg nailed it on Monday. “And all you talk about is money and fairy tales of eternal wealth…”

Sticky Finger-Lickin’ Good

Meanwhile, you can bet that more folks on your Twitter and Instagram feeds will have the feels not about oceans rising but rather the prospect that their cholesterol levels will. Introducing KFC’s Chicken-and-Doughnut sandwich (a.k.a. the KFCPR), which will be rapaciously devoured by the same people who will then tell you that health care is a human right. There I go, Susie B., kicking your hornet’s nest again…

Evidence Of Love

We blame our old friend Moe Cav for stoking a recent interest in true crime books (it’s weird how when you go out to a bar to read Zodiac by yourself that more people do not approach and start a conversation. Huh). Anyway, she gifted us a copy of Evidence Of Love, a 1984 book by Jim Atkinson and John Bloom (you may know him better as film critic Joe Bob Briggs). It’s the true story of two suburban Dallas housewives, a sordid affair involving one of their husbands, and a grisly axe murder that took place in the utility room of one’s house. To say more would be…criminal.

If you think this is just a Lifetime movie on steroids, think again. The book is so thoroughly reported, the events so well-framed, that it will grab you. Strongly recommended. The details are lurid and grisly, but the reportage is as meticulous as anything you’ll ever come across.

7 thoughts on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. Contact hitters went the way of push mowers and typewriters – once their industries realized that they were an inefficient way of accomplishing the goal, they all but vanished. If Carew is weeping, they are tears of joy, realizing that if he played today his skill set would render him far less valuable.

  2. The USA is the ONLY developed country that does not have ‘nationalized’ health care. Which means we are the only developed country where a citizen with the BEST G’DAMN INSURANCE in the freakin country can still get a $25,000+ BILL for their less than 4 hours at an ER because this Dr or that procedure or that entire hospital was NOT COVERED by their very expensive “good” health insurance. And hey, if you want the makers of opioids to PAY for what they’ve done to the country, why not go after KFC, the other fast-food joints, the marketers of said garbage & the MEDIA that is PAID quite handsomely to broadcast their commercials? But nooooooo, YOU want to castigate the poor schmuck whose biggest joy in life is chowing down on a ‘tasty treat’ (personally, I would gag over a doughnut chicken sandwich but I hate turnips & caviar too 🙂 ) , who of course mistakenly believes that if it was truly “bad” for him, the government would not allow it, because it’s ONE JOB is to PROTECT THE PEOPLE. Poor schmuck.

      • Are you saying EVERYTHING you eat/drink is “healthy”? And has always been?

        Um, no offense to mamadubs, but I don’t think lasagna is considered a “health food”. Much to MY consternation, I might add. 🙂

        And speaking of mamadubs, does she have a favorite country artist or subgenre of country music? Eddy Arnold? George Strait? Flatt & Scruggs? Dolly?

  3. Moving on. In my now daily recap of Ken Burns’ Country Music miniseries – last night was actually episode #7 (not ‘6’ as I typed yesterday) & concentrated on the years 1973-1983. Unlike the previous six 2-hour episodes, this one ran 2.5 hours which meant the repeat airing didn’t start till 10:30 & since that was the one I chose to watch, I, um, missed the last 30-45 minutes while unintentionally snoozing away on my uber-comfy sectional. Damn! What I was awake enough to see included more on Willie Nelson (his Texas years & delayed burst into superstardom), Waylon Jennings, Dolly Parton after her split from Porter, George Jones & wife/ex-wife Tammy Wynette, Emmylou Harris & some singer-songwriters I either don’t know well or at all, but liked hearing about their contribution to the crazy quilt that is “country music”.

    I’d actually started listening/buying Emmylou albums (then cassettes) because I’d heard her singing background on my Linda Ronstadt albums. Which is where I 1st really became aware of Dolly Parton because she was the writer of my favorite song on my fave Linda album & which annoyed my college dorm roommate since I played it over & over & over again, yep, “I Will Always Love You”. At the time, I didn’t think of Emmylou Harris as a “country singer”, but looking back, she probably was the reason I started listening to more of the genre.

    I think tonight’s is the final episode & the TV listing specifies it covers the years 1983-1996. WTF?! WHY would he stop over 20 YEARS ago? Has anyone here read why he stopped there? I can understand why he might want to have stopped before the current disastrous “Executive” branch of our federal government since it’s one thing to talk about the division & anger & violence in America 50-60 years ago & those same things today, especially since The Sociopath’s “base” largely (but not totally) shares a fan “base” with country music. Sigh. If that was his reasoning, I’m disappointed as one of the main lessons constantly mentioned in the series is how ‘country music’ brought ALL kinds of music & people together to keep creating this ever-changing art form. On the other hand, maybe the at-long-last answer to “Will the Circle Be Unbroken?” is Donald Fu*king Trump.

    • Susie B

      I caught from Dolly to Townes Van Zandt last night and then decided to swim laps. Wondering how they failed to include “Here You Come Again” and “Lucille” in that period.

      As for mama Momma Dubs’ cuisine, she packs it with love and that keeps all the toxicity out.

  4. So, I’m eagerly anticipating the White House Transcripts 2.0! And just as in that white cover paperback of 1974, I’m guessing there will be a fair-to-good smattering of “EXPLETIVE DELETED”s. Oh, good times. It’s said life is a circle…

    I’m thinking more along the lines of a funhouse/haunted house combo complete with those distorting mirrors!

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