by John Walters

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Starting Five

“Unfair” at Jordan-Hare

The 84th Iron Bowl from Jordan-Hare Stadium was a certifiable classic, as Auburn knocked Alabama from the college football playoff picture, 48-45. It’ll be the first year since the playoff was instituted in 2014 that the Crimson Tide, which lost twice in November, is not one of the four invitees.

It’s the most points a Nick Saban Alabama team has surrendered since 2007, his inaugural season in Tuscaloosa. It’s also the most penalties—13—his Crimson Tide have ever allowed in one game. And it was the 13th that was the coup de grace, since it involved Auburn catching the Tide asleep at the wheel on a fourth down play in which they should’ve punted.

Go to the 2:00 minute mark

Here’s what happened. Auburn lined up to punt and Bama put in its punt return team. Then the Tigers switched the formation, putting the punter out at wide receiver and quarterback Bo Nix in the shotgun formation. Alabama switched its defense back in but returner Jaylen Waddle did not run off the field. “12 men on the field.” Penalty. First down, Auburn. Ballgame.*

*Note: The CBS cameras focused on Jaylen Waddle running on field to prepare to return the punt and thus missed Auburn changing its formation.

Now, if Bama had any timeouts left, Saban would’ve called them. But it didn’t because they’d been stopping the clock to get the ball back. Genius move by Malzahn, and yet we can see the rules committee discussing this play in the offseason and tweaking the rule. We’ll see.

Vicious Cycle

Here’s the Peloton Christmas ad that so many people are not a fan of. And here’s the first parody video below that explains why:

Page Turner

Former DOJ attorney Lisa Page finally vents—the president of the United States using her name while acting out an orgasm in front of an arena full of Minnesotans recently was the last straw—about the frustrations of what transpired in her life and how she was used as a pawn in the battle between the White House and the Department of Justice. To Molly Jong-Fast in The Daily Beast. A good read.

By the way, if my surname were Turner I’d name my kid “Paige” in hopes she became a best-selling novelist.

Distaff Meeting

Katie Nolan gathers fellow female ESPNers Cari Champion, Julie Foudy, Sarah Spain and Maria Taylor for a funny attack on misogynists. The reveal at the end of the clip is terrific.

Now, we must mention that everyone steals some in the arts and so we imagine either Nolan or one of her writers was inspired by this clip from Amy Schumer’s show just a couple of years ago (Schumer’s writers were often accused of stealing material, by the way). You be the judge.

Five Films: 1966

This grieves me. In the year of my birth, Hollywood may have had its single-worst year dating back to the talkies and extending at least until the early 2000s. At least the music was lit that year. You’ll not recognize the names of most films from this year—I did not—and so I stuck only to the ones I’ve actually seen.

  1. Born Free: “Born free, as free as the wind blows/As free as the grass grows…” My love of the wild kingdom may have started here, with Elsa and the plains of Africa. Beautiful film, beautiful title song, and I’ll never understand what could possess a human being to kill something so wonderful. True evil. 2. Batman: Lighten things up with a hilarious satire based on the archetypal comic book hero. “Some days, you just can’t get rid of a bomb.” The seeds of Airplane! are found in this film. 3. Blow-Up: We actually watched this avant-garde British film last winter, in black-and-white and in swinging London with a murder involved. Austin Powers probably loved this film. 4. The Endless Summer: Was this the first adventure sports doc or the first travel doc? Surfing was never the same after three friends traveled from California to Africa to Australia and finally the South Pacific on a whirlwind surfin’ safari. And having one of the great movie posters ever produced didn’t hurt. 5. Fantastic Voyage: An innovative idea, shrinking a medical team to inject them into the body of a critically wounded world leader in order to save him. The only problem? When you’ve got Raquel Welch in her curvaceous prime, you want to enlarge her, not shrink her.

A few other films from this year worth noting that I’ve seen: Nevada Smith (Steve McQueen), a pair of animated classics (How The Grinch Stole Christmas and It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown). Films to put on the list: Stagecoach, Grand Prix, Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf, A Man For All Seasons, Alfie.

Music 101

Go Where You Wanna Go

Two inordinately talented California bands comprised of male and female musicians. Each band has a married couple. The band’s very existence is threatened when infidelity occurs. In 1977 those damaged relationships led to Fleetwood Mac’s “Go Your Own Way,” the first single off the band’s classic album Rumours. Ten years earlier, Michelle Phillips’ affair with band member Denny Doherty led her husband, John Phillips, the chief songwriter for The Mamas and The Papas, to pen this song.

That’s one way to get back at your wife. The story behind the song is covered in “Echo In The Canyon,” and Jakob Dylan and Jade Castrinos do a mighty fine job of covering the tune, too.

4 thoughts on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. I forgot about Born Free so my list now totals 5! And 2 of ours match! I also listed Fantastic Voyage, it fascinated me when I finally saw it on TV a few years later.

    I was pretty sure you’d omit my other three :

    #1 – The Trouble with Angels starring my childhood idol Haley Mills (now 20 or so), June Harding & Rosalind Russell. The 1st two played incorrigible teens at an all-girls Catholic high school over a 4-year period. RR was Mother Superior. I LOVED this movie as a kid! Saw it 1st in the theatre & then on TV multiple times. I think I loved it so much because the private school reminded me of my summer camp. And of course, it had Haley & Rosalind Russell! A sequel was made a few years later, but only RR of the main three returned. It was ok but did not compare to the original. Of note is that Susan Saint James starred in the sequel & it may have been her 1st film.

    The Singing Nun – yes, ANOTHER movie focusing on nuns & I’m not even Catholic! 🙂 This one had a hot song – Dominique, which was played incessantly on pop radio. Also of note – both this & the movie above prompted many young girls to wear towels on our heads to replicate the nuns’ habits. I have no data of whether this also prompted an influx to the convents in those years. 🙂

    Walk, Don’t Run – starring Cary Grant, Jim Hutton & Samantha Eggar. I think this was Grant’s final film. It’s a romantic comedy starring Hutton & Eggar during the 1964 Tokyo Olympics & Hutton’s character hiding that his Olympic event is Race Walking. Grant is a successful businessman who shares the flat of Eggar along with Hutton, when hotel accommodations are not to be found. Not a great movie by any means, but I was fond of it, partially because it was Grant’s swan song.

  2. Ahem, you didn’t answer my CFB queries from yesterday. I know, I know, you’re busy.

    Anyhoo, *I* will now answer Jacob’s question to me. Yes, young whippersnapper, I used to bet on sports. But not with a bookie or anything like that. I started betting on various sports events with my Dad &/or Aunt when I was about 9 or 10. Then, in middle & later, high school, if I could find a male classmate dumb enough & gutsy enough to not want to ‘end it all’ when they assuredly would “LOSE TO A GIRL” as lose they did. I NEVER LOST in those days. In college, my sports betting was with male co-workers at my campus job & which provided most of my spending money each semester. They took losing much better than the previous boys. 🙂 However, this is when I suffered my 1st betting losses! I didn’t really want to bet on the Super Bowl during some of those years, but everyone else was so I felt forced to pick. I lost. Twice! The “streak” was over & so seemed my “magic touch”. I bet a bit in grad school & my early working years & did ok, but I wasn’t into it & the result showed. To this day, I’m not sure whether I was just inordinately lucky for 10 years or some kind of sports ‘idiot savant’. But it sure was fun (& profitable!) while it lasted. 🙂

    • One more thing – my 1st sports bet with a non-family member was the Billie Jean King – Bobby Riggs ‘tennis match of the century’. I, of course, bet on Billie Jean. I will NEVER FORGET the look on the guy’s face when he had to pay up. Unfortunately, he would never bet me again, so I had to work harder to find my next victims, I mean fellow sports enthusiasts! 😉 🙂

  3. Until yesterday, I had thought I was the only one who HATED that stupid Peloton commercial! And not because the husband got his wife a fancy (& expensive!) workout bike. It’s because she was ALREADY THIN & IN SHAPE! What the heck did she “need” it for?! What was her “journey”?!

    The Bowflex commercial is MUCH better! A chubby woman starts working out on her new machine (while her dog patiently waits) & we SEE a transformation! My only disappointment is that she does not then run outside with the faithful & oh, so patient dog.

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