by John Walters

Disperse Thy Neighbor*

*The judges will also accept “Bible Beltway”

Via my friend Andre (with a few editorial touches):

Many people are saying this is a good book. I call it a great book, they call it a good book. But I call it great, maybe the greatest book ever. It’s the story of Jesus, but he wasn’t Mexican. He did a lot of great things for our country. A real patriot. I’ve read the book. Maybe not all of it, but probably more than anyone else has ever read.”

How many times during this presidency have you thought to yourself, I can’t even? And then it happens again. On the first day of June the president has his peeps tear gas and rubber-bullet a crowd peacefully assembling across the street from the White House in Lafayette Park so that he can stroll through the park and take this photo-op.

This right after he told America’s governors that they need to dominate protesters and threatened to turn the U.S. military on them (but who will be left to guard THE WALL???).

What a putz. Of course it’s all a part of the President’s and Jared’s and Stephen’s new program, or is that pogrom (in their case, what’s the difference), which we shall lovingly refer to as…

White, Hate American Summer!

Ah, yes. The temperatures are rising, the tempers are rising, millions more out of work than usual (why don’t they just watch CNBC and pivot to stay-at-home stocks?) and, oh yeah, the NBA Finals should be commencing right about now.

Can’t start a fire/Can’t start a fire without a spark/This gun’s for hire/Even if we’re just gassin’ em in the park…

It’s going to get uglier. We all know this, right? Even Richard Nixon felt bad about Kent State.

The Void

Writing in Sports Illustrated in 1962, the brilliant Robert H. Boyle cited another brilliant (albeit cynical, but we like it) mind in that of Albert Parry. Seems that Parry, writing in the Encyclopedia of Social Sciences, thought that sport might have a more sinister purpose than simply entertaining us.

The wide interest of Anglo-Saxon masses in horse racing, football, baseball and similar sports tends to allay social unrest and lessens the possibility of political uprisings” Parry wrote, likely long before African-Americans were thought to matter in American life. He added that sports are a tool with which “the masses are to be kept in check, awed or distracted.”

Damn straight, A.P.

While we completely endorse what protesters, non-looting protesters, are doing nationwide, and while it is axiomatic that you need not be black to stand with the protesters, we do wonder if these demonstrations would be as widespread if baseball season were in full swing. And if LeBron and the Lakers were squaring off versus Giannis and the Bucks in the NBA Finals this week. Because that’s what shoulda been happening.

You wanna see large masses of humans gathering at night in early June of 2019? Go visit the outside of the Scotiabank Arena in Toronto. Just wondering what role the sports vacuum is playing in what’s happening right now.

By the way, today is the 31st anniversary of the Tianenmen Square uprising in Beijing. I wonder how that turned out.

Rock ‘n Roll Circus

You know how you know you’re a good band in 1969? John Lennon is in the crowd cheering. Here are the Rolling Stones in their lip-swagger Mick Jagger prime performing “Sympathy For The Devil.” Today is Charlie Watts’ 79th birthday, by the way.

The story behind this gig, which was filmed on December 11, 1968 but not released until 1996, is pretty fab. Mick and Pete Townshend envisioned an intimate festival of supergroups that would include the Stones, The Who, Jethro Tull and John Lennon. Led Zeppelin was considered, but were dropped (they weren’t yet Led Zep in ’68).

Anyway, the film was never released (at least not for 18 years). Some say the Stones were not thrilled with their performance, as they were exhausted (and high as kites). Others say The Who completely upstaged them, which got Mick to thinking the film shouldn’t be released. Maybe both.

Brian Jones would drown 7 months later.

Sports Year 1902

For the first time in recorded history, the year starts off right: with the Rose Bowl, making its debut on January 1. The otherwise sublime event was ruined by the Michigan Skunkbears trouncing the Stanford Indians 49-0.

Michigan finished 11-0 and won the national championship. Stanford literally quit after the third quarter (not surprised). So awful was the taste in everyone’s mouths that it would be another 13 years before the game was staged again.


On April 5, in a soccer match between England and Scotland in Glasgow’s Ibrox Park, an upper scaffold holding fans collapses. Dozens of people fall dozens of feet onto the cement ground beneath.

Two people die at the scene and 23 more will die from injuries sustained. After a brief respite, officials decide to continue the match in front of the 68,000 fans, fearing a cancellation will lead to more hysteria and death. Sadly, they were probably correct.

Twenty-five people die. The match ended in a 1-1 draw.

Sixty-nine years later, in 1971, this same park (now Stadium) will be the site of a crowd crush that kills 66, the worst soccer death toll until Hillsborough in 1989.

4 thoughts on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. Along with the protests across the United States, I see protests taking place in other countries, and I can’t help but feel hopeful. There are a lot of good people in this world. Unfortunately, the system has awarded people positions of power through greed and evilness. I hope to God we don’t continue screwing this up and depraving people of their full freedom.

    If there is a Heaven and Hell, I hope Donald Trump rots in Hell. And before we get there, I hope that the people he has abused an oppressed get redemption. He is nothing but a coward and POS.

  2. susie b says:
    November 9, 2016 at 10:22 am
    The 2000 election forever changed how I felt about the political process of this country. The 2016 election has now forever changed how I feel about this COUNTRY. Trump is a lying sack of shit, a sociopath who should be in jail & not the White House but he is but a symptom of the cancer that is DESTROYING this nation, what was once looked upon by the rest of the world as the bastion of freedom & equality, where over 150 years ago, millions fought & died to PRESERVE this union of democracy, this “grand experiment”. All those folks & millions more weep today, for our country has FAILED. Failed at the basic level – in educating our populace how to recognize a con man & most of all, that the greatest evil, the surest “destroyer of worlds” is HATE. I must keep reminding myself of the latter or be consumed in what is our country’s most dire hour since the Civil War. May all of us teetering on the edge today draw strength from our fellow “travellers”.

    susie b says:
    November 9, 2016 at 4:21 pm
    The educated folks in 1933 Germany probably told each other to “relax, keep calm, it will be alright”…

    IT’S NOT ALRIGHT, PEOPLE! DO NOT KEEP CALM! This election & what it symbolizes is in a 3-way tie for 2nd on the ‘Worst Disasters in American History’ list (9/11, Pearl Harbor the other two). What do they all have in common? Our country lies in a smoldering ruin, although this time it is figurative. For now.

    You know all those recent movies (& current TV series) which features the White House &/or Capitol being blown or shot the hell up by terrorists? I truly believe this is worse.

    I wrote Marty Dugard I had his next book subject/title but that his co-writer might balk – The Killing of America : The Election of Donald Trump.

    🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁

    Ryan says:
    November 10, 2016 at 4:33 am
    As someone with a doctorate, I find it highly entertaining that “Susie B.” has compared Trump’s election to the rise of Hitler. I also find it ironic that she has labeled Trump supporters stupid and ignorant, after making one of the most inappropriate, asinine comparisons I have ever seen written on the Internet.


  3. Every single person that worked or continues to work in that vile “administration” is culpable. Every Senator that did not vote to hear all the evidence & then did not vote to throw this SOCIOPATH out on his ass back in January is culpable.

    And most of all, the GOP-NAZI party is TOTALLY RESPONSIBLE. They are not just enablers, not just “supporters”. They are using a moronic sociopath in the WH to advance their NAZI agenda.

    They are all either VOTED OUT IN NOVEMBER or this “grand experiment in democracy” will die.

  4. This last week, PBS aired Rick Steves’ travels thru Germany & Italy, the WW2 cities. Included interviews with historians on Hitler, Mussolini and Fascism. Shocking part was footage Mussolini: the facial poses, the body language, the restrictions he imposed, the structures he had built to glorify himself. I saw Trump in every shot—-action for action, Trump copying that playbook. Check it out.

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