You Can’t Spell “Sports” Without S-T-O-P

by John Walters

We’ll return to our regularly scheduled misanthropy later in the week, but we’ve taken note about how Major League Baseball’s supposed return keeps getting fouled off due to avarice and mistrust. We’ve noticed, as have NBA players, that Florida’s coronavirus cases are peaking and, oh yeah, hundreds if not thousands of Disney employees would be charged with cleaning their rooms and serving them food. And we’ve noticed that 23 Clemson players have tested positive for the coronavirus and and LSU is quarantining players. Maybe these two schools just happen to be the ones in the headlines because they played in the national championship game less than six months ago.

NFL, you’re next.

Pro sports “coming back” and ESPN’s shameless cheerleading of that supposed event has never been about anything more than chasing lost dollars (you’re correct, Jacob) and the same type of hubris that led Donald Trump to half-fill a Tulsa arena. They’re a little annoyed that the world is continuing to spin without them and they want their spotlight back.

But we don’t need sports. Really, we don’t. Not now. And they don’t need to be playing.

It’s very simple: there’s no vaccine.

All we know for sure is the return of sports, not unlike a poorly thought out Trump rally, will lead to spread. And while most young athletes will not die, they will in turn spread the disease to others.

There’s no vaccine.


It’s like that scene from the final episode of AfterLife this season. “All I’ve learned about life I can sum up in three words: ‘It goes on.'”

Life will go on without a compromised NBA or MLB summer. I know it will. If you cannot do it right—and they cannot, no matter what Adam Silver or Rob Manfred say—best not to do it all.

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