by John Walters

MAC To The Future

On Friday the Mid-American Conference, or MAC, announced there will be no fall sports in 2020. That awkward silence you hear is the Power 5 commissioners wondering how to process that news.

The MAC’s decision makes sense. First, as we’ve only been saying since March, it’s foolish to hold sports seasons in the midst of a pandemic where no vaccine exists. Second, once the Big Ten and other conferences announced they’d only be playing conference games, a Group of 5 conference such as the MAC saw its windfall of revenue taken away. MAC schools play paycheck games against Michigan and Ohio State et al every fall. That’s what puts their athletic departments in the black. And now the big bad Big Ten wants to take that away?

Fine. So now the MAC takes a progressive and righteous stand, exposing the Power 5 conference presidents as money-grubbers. Your move. Commissioners Sankey and others.

We’ve said it before and we’ll repeat: there will not be college football this season. You may have that announcement within 48 hours.

Between A Rock And

We love seeing a note from in our inbox each morning, and the other day they outdid themselves with “8 Places That Will Scare Even The Biggest Daredevil.”

This is Kjerag Mountain in Norway, but you should check out the seven other sites. Whoever is in charge of story ideas at this site deserves a raise.

Over 3 Served*

*The judges will not accept “You Want Fries With That?”

McDonald’s is suing former CEO Steve Easterbrook, seeking the return of the $40 million severance package it gave him after his ouster last November. Easterbrook, a Brit who was let go after an announced “inappropriate relationship” with a McDonald’s employee, allegedly lied to the board about whether this was a one-time drive-thru affair.

Turns out there is video evidence of the randy CEO being involved with at least three McDonald’s employees. He was working off the “dolla, dolla” menu.

Ben And The Byrdes

A few thoughts on Ozark now that we’ve watched all three seasons thus far (SPOILER ALERT: Don’t read on if you’re planning to watch the Netflix series)

–Should the actor who plays Wyatt Langmore (Charlie Tahan) be given severe mental distress pay? For the entire third season, the producers have put the 22 year-old Tahan in a sexual relationship with Darlene Snell (Joan Emery), who is 68 years old.

–By the way, no show in recent memory has more gratuitous sex scenes featuring actors no one wants to see having sex than Ozark does. I was almost waiting for 8 months pregnant Maya Miller to get busy with 14 year-old Jonah.

–Season 3 was so much of an improvement upon the first two seasons, and no season of any series in recent memory has ended with quite the bang that this one did.

–Tom Pelphrey (above), who played Wendy Davis’ bi-polar little brother, Ben, sort of hijacked the season for good and bad. There are those critics who didn’t love the story arc, thought of it as artificial, and perhaps they’re correct: we never heard a peep about Ben the series’ first two years.

But then Pelphrey, a Jersey shore product, is such an outstanding actor and has such presence that you can sorta see why the producers let him run wild, chewing scenery. In the season’s penultimate episode, they gave him a 2-3 minute monologue that opens the episode (before the illustrated “O” shows up) where it’s just him riffing in the back of a taxi. That’s when I knew he would be dead by the end of the episode. But it’s such an “Emmy voters, here’s my clip” scene that you have to just admire it.

Pelphrey’s the best actor from the Jersey shore to come around since Jack Nicholson. Keep an eye on him in the future.

Mount Rushmoron

The New York Times is out with a story about how the president was exploring a way to become the fifth POTUS to have his face chiseled into Mount Rushmore in South Dakota. Frankly, we’re surprised that he’d be willing to share the space with Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt.

The difficult part, folks at the national landmark admit, would be transporting the copper or sandstone to replicate the president’s orange glow.

9 thoughts on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. I know we won’t have CFB this fall, but if they did, I’d be in favor of localized leagues. As a Nebraska resident, I’m thinking: Nebraska, Iowa State, Iowa, Kansas, Kansas State, Missouri. North Dakota State would probably work better for a northern league, but we could throw them and South Dakota State in.

    No flying. Only buses. Depending on how everything looks in February, play a small playoff in Texas cities.

  2. jdubs – do you think the colleges will move football to Spring or skip it altogether for the 2020-2021 academic year? With both basketball & football (& all other college sports) being condensed into the same 4-6 month period, I recognize it will he hectic & at times overwhelming but I don’t see any other option.

    MAYBE the big conferences can, er, “BUBBLE UP” their basketball teams at specified locales around the country for the holiday “break” & skip the usual non-conference early season games; in sort of an extended holiday tournament substituting as regular season play. And hopefully, by Jan or Feb, a workable vaccine will be available.

    Both the college & pro football folks will bitch about the change & the impact & how it will “disrupt” the usual spring shenanigans (the Combine, training specifically for the Combine, the Draft, etc) but too damn bad! They just need to get on with it & make the best of a ‘pandemic situation’!


    I read about the Mt Rushmore thing early yesterday morning & it was the 1st time in MONTHS I almost laughed-spit my Diet Pepsi. For one to believe he should be added to a monument honoring the BEST of American Presidents when HE is responsible for the DEATHS of hundreds of thousands & the destruction of millions of jobs & the country’s economy just illuminates (once again!) how intellectually, morally & ethically UNFIT this narcissistic lyin’ sack of shit is for his present position (or any position requiring cognitive thought). At the very least, this is proof of TOTAL DELUSION!

    • I’m back! It seems the Big 10 is cancelling Fall football & will “attempt to play in the Spring”. I will assume most other conferences will do the same. However, I also assume that at least ONE of the ‘Red state’ conferences will go ahead with a truncated fall “season”. Those colleges will endure undo pressure from their GOP-NAZI politicians, who will threaten to withhold “all funding” to said schools unless they acquiesce.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *