by John Walters
Of Course………But Maybe
Revisiting this classic Louis CK bit in the wake of the Covid-19 pandemic.
Of course—of course! – we should maintain social distancing and wear masks in order to flatten the curve. Of course!
But maybe… if a million or so Americans, most of whom were not the healthiest of our tribe in the first place, are going to die in order for us to continue going to movies and restaurants and bars and school, that’s not too high a price to pay.
That’s Phoenix area resident Trevor Murphy, 35, who went out for a run on Friday morning (after Thursday night’s monsoons brought much-needed rain but also lightning to the Valley of the Sun) and noticed a small brush fire breaking out.
So Murphy took it upon himself to fight fire with ire. He stamped on it with his shoes, shuffled dirt onto the path to widen it and create a fire break, even phoned the fire department.
The headline of this Jerry Seinfeld Op-Ed in The New York Times says it all: “So You Think New York Is Dead (It’s Not).” *
*At least we’re not in Florida
It was Winston Churchill who said, “A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to put its pants on.” In this case, it took the truth nearly four years to hitch up its knickers.
Remember how President Trump accused his opponent of skulduggery heading into the 2016 election and coined the phrase “Lock her up!” Remember how then-FBI director James Comey planned to launch an investigation into Russian meddling in the 2016 presidential election and lost his job?
Remember Paul Manaforte? Michael Flynn? Carter Page?
Well, last week a Senate Intelligence Committee (the Senate has a GOP majority, recall) issued a 1,000-page report on its own investigation into this affair and concluded, without a doubt, that the “Russian government disrupted an American election to help Mr. Trump become president, Russian intelligence services viewed members of the Trump campaign as easily manipulated, and some of Mr. Trump’s advisers were eager for the help from an American adversary.”
Certainly President Trump, the one who in the summer of 2016 publicly pleaded for Russia to release any information on Senator Clinton that it had, could not have known any of his associates were working on his behalf. Of course not.
Go Your Conway
In a surprise development on the eve of the GOP convention, America’s most dysfunctional (political) couple appears to have reached detent. KellyAnne Conway, the White House’s most prolific prevaricator this side of the president, has announced that she is stepping down from her post. Her husband, George Conway, a co-founder of the Lincoln Project, which is not a reality show about pimping up over-sized ’70s sedans, has also announced that he will no longer work with that association (a group of Republicans doing their darnedest to oust Trump from office).
They’ve jointly announced they’re stepping away to spend more time with their four children, teens and tweens, who will most likely be begging them to return to work in a week.
UPDATE: The Conways’ 15 year-old daughter, Claudia, is seeking emancipation from her parents (someone has been watching Ozark). No, really. Over the weekend Conway tweeted (which makes her Conway tweety…we beat you to it, Ruth), “I’m (devastated) that my mother is actually speaking at the RNC. like DEVASTATED beyond compare.”
In a follow-up post, she wrote: “I’m officially pushing for emancipation. buckle up because this is probably going to be public one way or another, unfortunately. welcome to my life.”
For someone whose parents work in the capitol, she needs to work on her capitals.
In Your (Field Of) Dreams
So many events have been canceled or postponed these past nearly six months that we forgot that earlier this month the Yankees and White Sox were supposed to play a game at the Field of Dreams site in Iowa. First, those two clubs were supposed to play in the specially constructed 8,000-seat park on August 13th.
Then, Major League Baseball announced after the pandemic began that the game would still be played on August 13 but, due to re-scheduling issues, the Cardinals would replace the Yankees. Then that game was canceled, too (Might it have had something to do with seven Cardinal players testing positive for the coronavirus?)
Now MLB has said the game will take place in 2021. Stay tuned.
Tesla update: In the past week two people I know personally have told me they’ve bought Teslas. News flash: I don’t know that many people (even fewer when I open my mouth). The stock is up another 3% this morning, Susie B. Where it stops? I dunno.
UPDATE: Seems like we’re having a minor Tesla correction as the stock has now plunged 2% from where it was at the open. Don’t worry about me, Susie B., I protected myself.