by John Walters

The Covid-19 19

After losing at Texas A&M last weekend in front of a somewhat well-occupied Kyle Field, Florida coach Dan Mullen yearned to “pack the Swamp” for this Saturday’s home game versus LSU. Then 19 Gators tested positive.

Now what? Life comes at you pretty fast. Only two weeks ago Mullen was talking about how he required a good bottle of wine from the Ol’ Ball Coach after putting up 640 offensive yards at Ole Miss. Now? Is the game canceled this Saturday?

From Anchorage To Athens

Here’s the type of tale just made for cable news: the 58 year-old mayor of Anchorage, Alaska, Ethan Berkowitz, has resigned after admitting to an “inappropriate relationship” with local TV reporter Maria Athens.

This is very messy. Athens was arrested for threatening Berkowitz and then she went online and said she was going to out him for posting nude photos on an underage website. Then Athens posted a pic of what is purported to be Berkowitz’s bare backside.

Anchorage is Alaska’s largest city. And Athens is it angriest citizen this week.

Home On Deranged

Our favorite TV personality, Ben Mankiewicz of TCM, launched a hashtag challenge last night of #ShittyWesterns with “The Researchers.” We came back with “The Man Who Shot Liberty Mutual.”

Then we checked out what others had conjured. Here goes: “The In-Law Josey Wales,” “Jeremiah’s Johnson,” “The Skidmark of Zorro,” “The Magnificent 7-11,” “Slap Fight at the O.K. Corral,” “Stagemom,” and “Support Your Local Sharif.”

Mankiewicz, by the way, will make a cameo in this year’s Simpsons Halloween “Treehouse of Horror” episode.

What Ever Happened To Carol Wayne?

Last night we had occasion to recall the genius of Johnny Carson’s Art Fern character. That’s buxom actress Carol Wayne with him. Wayne was outstanding at playing the ditzy and oblivious sidekick.

So we wondered what ever happened to her. Turns out Wayne, just one year after this 1984 taping, died mysteriously at a beach resort in Mexico. She had had a loud argument with her male companion, Edward Durston, shortly after arrival. Oddly, Wayne’s body was found four days after she disappeared and three days after Durston departed. Funny that he didn’t stick around.

Durston, a used car salesman (really) and B-movie producer, was never charged in the death of Wayne—the coroner ruled it accidental. Nor was he charged in the death of Diane Linkletter (daughter of Art), 20, who fell to her death from the balcony of a 6-story building in L.A. Durston was with her and said he tried to grab her as she fell. Hmmm.

Durston also produced a 1970 horror fest called I Drink Your Blood, which was the first film to receive an X rating for violence.

One thought on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. Dan Mullen called his program a “model of safety” about 12 hours before 19 players tested positive, meaning that the virus was spreading through his locker room even as he was making that statement. Your rule that “gravity is undefeated” merits a 2020 corollary; when it comes to covid, arrogance has lost every time.

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