by John Walters
As we woke up on Friday morning, Joe Biden leads Donald Trump in electoral votes, 264-217, with five states still in play: Georgia, Nevada, North Carolina and Pennsylvania. The odds favor Biden as mail-in votes seem to favor Democratic candidates…because who wants to be shot at a polling place?
On Thursday night, President Trump delivered what CNN’s Daniel Dale calls “the most dishonest speech of his presidency.” That’s like saying you just spotted the planet’s largest blue whale. Wow.
This was Trump’s biggest doozy: “If you count the legal votes, I easily win. If you count the illegal votes, they can try to steal the election from us.”
I’m mortified at the stupidity of people who buy this bullshit. Here’s a simple test: Would you believe this to be true if someone you did not know said it? Of course not. So why does President Hitler always get a free pass?
Netflix’s Election Coverage
If you’ve watched The Queen’s Gambit (fantastic), then you remember this scene from the opening episode and you are able to spot the metaphor. If you’ve either watched TQG or know what a metaphor is, you probably did not vote for Donald Trump.
All The Symbolism
Election Day was Colin Kaepernick’s birthday.
Today, in a matter of hours, Georgia could be the state that puts Joe Biden over 270: and today is the 89th anniversary of Louis Armstrong’s “Georgia On My Mind” being released.
The county that may clinch it for Biden in Georgia was in Rep. John Lewis’ district.
Meanwhile, Back At The Coronavirus Ward
The United States went Tesla-stock-in-late-July on coronavirus cases yesterday, breaking new barriers as if no boundaries can stop it. More than 120,000 new cases yesterday, which is about a 20% jump from the previous all-time high the day before. You know how we’ll know when Donald Trump has officially lost? When Fox News and OAN and The Hill begin obsessing about this terrible pandemic and why can’t the government seem to do anything to control it?
They’re Not Going Away
If the past four years have taught us anything, it’s that the Trump kids have come to understand that politics is the new family business. Grifting irate and/or disenfranchised (or so they feel) white folks is so much more lucrative than Trump Steaks. So expect Don, Jr., and Ivanka and Eric to be out staging Trump rallies in support of Dad, who will be, too, stoking up white nationalism at every turn.
Who knows where this car is headed—off a cliff?—but they’re not going anywhere.
Four years ago, for the first SNL following the election, the show’s cold open was simply Kate McKinnon, costumed as Hillary Clinton, playing Leonard Cohen’s somber “Hallelujah.” She played it straight, not for jokes.
So what comes this Saturday (with the same host as four years ago, Dave Chapelle)? Here’s our guess/suggestion: the cast (and others), all in their political garb (both a Jason Sudeikis and a Jim Carrey Joe Biden, for example) singing the “Hallelujah Chorus” from Handel’s Messiah.
You heard it here first.