by John Walters

Nothing to do, nowhere to go-o-o

Meanwhile, on the penultimate day of the year, the U.S. broke its less than one day-old record for most coronavirus deaths in a day. We had more than 3,800 yesterday. Experts are predicting approximately 80,000 deaths next month.

If we know 2020 like we think we do, we’ll send the year out with our first 4,000-death day on New Year’s Eve.

Hammon Time

In San Antonio, Spurs coach Gregg Popovich is ejected and assistant coach Becky Hammon takes over the squad for the final three quarters (What took Pop so long?) agains the world champion-Lakers.

Hammond becomes the first female to coach any of the four major professional sports teams, albeit in an interim role. Between this and Sarah Fuller and Kamala Harris, it’s been a good past two months for equality. Former NBA coach George Karl tweets out that Hammon will be a full-time NBA coach in the near future. When you consider that most NBA players are African-American or foreign-born men, and not wealthy, middle-aged white American males in suits, I’d say she has a real shot to be heard and succeed.

Dawn’s Sunset

Ginger or Mary Ann?

It’s a question every boy or young man has answered the past half-century.

My answer? Lovey. Wealthy and older and Thurston can’t hold on forever.

Anyway, Dawn Wells, who played Maryann (the beta male’s choice) passed away yesterday at the age of 82. You have to hand it to the creators of Gilligan’s Island. They put seven people on a tropical island, did not make it a reality show, and there was never a hint of sexual indiscretion (although Ginger often seemed, um, in search of satisfaction).

Things you might not have known about Wells: She was born in Reno, attended Reno High School, and was originally a chemistry major. She also was crowned Miss Nevada and represented the Silver State in the 1960 Miss America Pageant back when that was a really, really big deal.

The Shoe Bomber Fallacy

Remember Richard Reid? The “Shoe Bomber?” If you don’t, here’s the Wikipedia skinny…

On 22 December 2001, a passenger on Flight 63 from Paris to Miami complained of a smoke smell in the cabin shortly after a meal service. One flight attendant, Hermis Moutardier, thinking she smelled a burnt match, walked along the aisles of the plane, trying to assess the source. A passenger pointed to Reid, who was sitting alone near a window and attempting to light a match. Moutardier warned him that smoking was not allowed on the airplane. Reid promised to stop.

A few minutes later, Moutardier found Reid leaned over in his seat. After she asked him what he was doing, Reid grabbed at her, revealing one shoe in his lap, a fuse leading into the shoe, and a lit match. Several passengers worked together to subdue the 6 foot 4 inch (193 cm) tall Reid who weighed 215 pounds (97 kg). They restrained him using plastic handcuffs, seatbelt extensions, leather waist belts and headphone cords. A doctor on board administered a tranquilizer to him which he found in the emergency medical kit of the airliner.[16] The flight was immediately diverted to Logan International Airport in Boston, Massachusetts, the closest US airport.[17]

The explosive apparently did not detonate due to the delay in the take-off of Reid’s flight. The rainy weather, along with Reid’s foot perspiration, caused the fuse to be too damp to ignite.[18]

So here’s the thing: While a more competent terrorist might have caused a major disaster, Reid never actually killed anyone. He’s serving a life sentence with no possibility of parole. But ever since that day, you cannot board a commercial airline in the U.S. without having to take off your shoes first so that they can go through metal detection separately.

Meanwhile, 350,000 Americans have died this year alone due to the virus. And yet there are people (many in red baseball caps) who will take off their shoes without complaint and then board the plane and get all uppity about having to wear a mask.

Why is that? Might it be because it’s easier for them to fathom the existential threat of a Muslim terrorist (who was unsuccessful) than it is for them to understand or acknowledge science, which has already killed more than 1 of every 1,000 Americans? Hmmm.

And now you know why Space Force exists, and why the GOP spends so much on defense while not caring a whit about distributing a vaccine.

White Bread Cannot Hold The Mayo

During the raucous celebration following the Duke’s Mayo Bowl (an annual tradition), Wisconsin freshman quarterback Graham Mertz drops the glass trophy and shatters it. Someone also might say that Mayo does not belong on a Graham cracker.

Best Bad Beats of 2020

This is always, always entertaining. Our favorite new ESPN segment since “The Blitz.” Enjoy.

Final Tesla Post of 2020

Again, we failed to truly take advantage of this (that is, failed to take our own damn advice), but here’s where Tesla (TSLA) stock was on the first day of 2020:


And here’s where it is on the last day of 2020:


Is that good? Yes.

5 thoughts on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. Too bad about not taking your own advice about TSLA but, BUT, BUT, I just finally looked up the stock that you said was your main “Bitcoin” holding – RIOT. OH MY GOODNESS! Please tell us you bought into this in March & still own? If so, you have between a 17-35 BAGGER! In just 9 months! Who needs TSLA? 🙂

    I thought of you yesterday when I saw a headline on Marketwatch – some guy invested in one of the Bitcoin things (I think the one that begins with an “E”?) & is now a ‘Millionaire”. It was kind of confusing as he declares the “market top” & yet is not selling. Hmmmmmm.

    Did you read/watch any of the info revealed yesterday about the Nashville bomber? That he apparently was a believer in the, wait for it, “LIZARD THEORY”? 1st of all, WHY does the mainstream media keep calling this ASSININE ‘belief’ a THEORY?! Theory my ass! Some jerkwad watched the old 1970s miniseries “V” & has actually convinced some GOP/Q-Anon lamebrains that it’s REAL! LOL! Sure, sure, I remember like yesterday watching the 1st series & the SHOCK we all exclaimed when the courageous freedom fighters ripped the fake skin off the top lizard-guy’s face. If the world wide web had existed then, THAT moment would have, as the ‘kid’s say “broke the internet”. Who do YOU think is behind Q-Anon? Some idiots thinking up the most insane things they can think of to see if they can get stupid people to believe? Are they Americans or Russians? One would THINK the “lizard theory” would be the jump-the-shark moment where the pathetic followers finally realize they’ve been conned all along but apparently NO!

  2. Jim Backus (who played Thurston Howell) was only 51 when Gilligan’s Island premiered, so he probably would have held on for a long time. Meanwhile, Natalie Schafer, who played Lovey, was 64. Perhaps Ginger was actually trying to wait out Lovey — the 2020s spin-off could explore that angle.

    This is reminiscent of the meme noting that Jennifer Lopez is roughly the same age (51) that Rue McClanahan was when The Golden Girls premiered. The other three Golden Girls were 62 or 63 at the time. For the reboot, one could choose from the following women who will turn 62 or 63 in 2021: Michelle Pfeiffer, Belinda Carlisle, Megan Mullally, Andie McDowell, Annette Bening, Holly Hunter, Jamie Lee Curtis, Angela Bassett, Allison Janney, Rosanna Arquette, Susanna Hoffs, or Rebecca de Mornay. Now that would be one hell of a retirement community.

    A final thought for 2020: for every Bad Beat, there is a Great Win. Happy New Year.

    • I hope Micah Sage sees your comment, Kurt, and appreciates how difficult it is to formulate a series of sentences correctly each morning. I believe you meant to write “What was Sean ASTIN doing in the back of the cop car…”

      Two errors, one sentence. I understand how it happens. I make these mistakes daily.

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