by John Walters

Torrents Of Arabia*

*The judges will also accept “Dredge Of Glory”

Remember that old Snickers ad campaign: “Not going anywhere for awhile?” Wondering if one of the Ever Given’s containers holds a shipment of the candy bars.

Oddly, enough, all four hours of Lawrence of Arabia aired on TCM yesterday.

Suggestion to solve this problem: Paint the boat black and then ask the LAPD to remove it.


Yesterday in Georgia, a victory for rigging the game in your favor. Governor Brian Kemp signed into law a bill that is designed, ostensibly, the curb the voting fraud that even he, a Republican, publicly admitted never took place in his state during the 2020 presidential election.

Twitter is all agog about the law making it a crime to hand out water or food to voters waiting in line (I’m mildly surprised that Georgia did not announce election day would now take place some day in early August). However, the really serious part of the law is the one that makes it okay for state election officials to overturn the results of local elections. So, your vote really won’t matter as long as there are a few corrupt people at the top.

It was yet another sad day for America in 2021, where scenes have played out that are every bit as ugly, if not uglier, than any grainy black-and-white footage from Alabama in the Sixties. Think about it. Rep. Park Cannon simply knocks on the door of Gov. Brian Kemp because she wants to be the one non-white male to witness him singing this historic and deplorable piece of legislation and she is strong-armed by state troopers, led away in handcuffs and jailed.

Two months earlier white insurrectionist busted windows at the U.S. Capitol and spread feces inside and cops simply asked them to leave as if they were Albertson’s shoppers who’d entered without a mask.

Do you not think white and black people are treated differently by law enforcement? Still? I just hope I’m alive when white people get their (overdue) comeuppance. I may be on the victims pile, but that’s simply justice being served.

Sam Cooke famously sang, “A change is gonna come.” People rightly ask, When? I don’t know. But freedom will always ultimately outlive fascism. It’s simply a far superior ideal.

There’s a way to fight this that won’t happen but it should. First, Hollywood production companies should announce that they will no longer film in Georgia (that’ll knock out nearly $3 billion in revenue immediately).

Next, NBA and MLB and NFL players should refuse to play in the state. A gesture like that would need its respective established sports leaders, men such as LeBron James, to lead the movement. But there’s no reason this should not happen. Finally, as a consumer, you can choose not to purchase Coke products or fly Delta.

This segment on Tucker Carlson last not was revelatory. Basically, it’s white people preaching civil disobedience if they feel that the enforcement of laws are treating them disproportionately unfairly. Welcome to being black, Tucker. Never mind that your argument is rubbish, but now you’re just saying that 1) it’s okay to disobey the law if it doesn’t work for you (something minorities have been saying forever) and 2) that you’re okay with fascism over democracy (something we already knew).

Knock One Back For Lucille Bluth

Actress Jessica Walter passed away yesterday at the age of 80. Walter (no relation because, among other things, our last names are different) rose to fame for her role as the stalker in Play Misty For Me in the early Seventies but this generation will remember her as the cold-hearted vodka guzzling matriarch from Arrested Development.

Linda Bluth: “I’ll be in the hospital bar.”

Son Michael Bluth: “There isn’t a hospital bar, mother.”

Linda: “This is why people hate hospitals.”

Then there were her interactions with Martin Mull as Gene Parmesan, the Bluth family private eye. Walter’s reactions are wonderful, no? Someone opined on Twitter that it would be great if this JW arrived at the Pearly Gates only to learn that St. Peter is Gene Parmesan. A lovely thought.

A Cowboy Heads Home

Author Larry McMurtry has passed away at the age of 84.

Lonesome Dove is an American epic, right up there with the very best works of John Steinbeck. He also wrote the books that you’d come to know better as films: The Last Picture Show, Terms of Endearment and Brokeback Mountain.

If you’ve never seen The Last Picture Show, catch it the next time it’s on TCM.

Should This Be Her Biggest Concern?

3 thoughts on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. I once spent the better part of a summer slowly working my way through Lonesome Dove, all 850+ pages of it. When I was done, I wanted to start again. Wonderful characters and storytelling, and one of the first novels that accurately portrayed the American West as a hard and unforgiving landscape, as opposed to the Louis L’Amour/Zane Gray romanticism of the frontier.

  2. I’m only familiar with Jessica Walters from Arrested Development, but she was incredible in that role. Rewatching the pilot and Michael is considering taking a job in Arizona. Lucille Bluth says, “I’d rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona.” What say you, Mr. Walters?

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