by John Walters
Suggs To Be U(CLA)*
*The judges will also accept “Bank Heist” or “The Sweet Smell of Suggs-cess”
If you were tuned in to CBS Saturday night, did you just witness the greatest March Madness game there ever was? Maybe, maybe not. Here’s what you did see:
*the longest buzzer-beater in Final Four history (you were sooooo close, Gordon Hayward)
*a heavyweight bout between the greatest upstart program of the 21st century and the greatest program, period
*a second half in which no team ever led by more than five points (and Gonzaga did so with less than 1:20 remaining, our friend Andrew Hammond tweeted “This one’s over” and we wanted to reply, “Haven’t you learned by now?”)
A few more notes:
–as incredible as Suggs’ 40-ish foot game winner was, his earlier play (block, recover, half-court bounce pass) was more special. Except that he should have been whistled for a foul on UCLA’s Cody Riley whom, it should also be mentioned, played an outstanding second half. They kept ceding him the open 15-footer, and he kept knocking it down.
–Drew Timme is an unstoppable force anywhere near the hoop. Combine his deft footwork, his long limbs, and his ability to spin right or left and put it up with either hand with ease and you’ve got an unstoppable force.
—The Bruins, even down 5 with less than 80 seconds left in regulation, had a great chance to end it there. Good on Mick Cronin for not calling timeout, but Johnny Juzang either needs to jump-stop and pass to a wide open Tyger Campbell on the left wing or jump-stop and shoot. Players are coached to take it to the rack and draw contact, but I still don’t know why. I mean, I do, but it’s a dumb hoops play, as that charge demonstrated.
—You’re going to hate hearing this, but the athlete the precocious Jalen Suggs most reminds me of? Derek Jeter.
He’s Not Here
Sometimes an Op-Ed, no matter where it appears, is just too powerful not to be shared. Loved this secular Easter homily from Jennifer Finney Boylan in The New York Times. Curiously, when I read this on Sunday morning the column was titled “He’s Not Here.” I’m wondering if the NYT felt a little pushback from its readers and opted with a more bland headline.
Which reminds me: last week I got into a little trouble with a couple of friends when I texted something about “Jesus Christ and the Seven Dwarfs.” It was an attempt at both humor and a little truth. In both stories, we have a virginal, pure and wholly virtuous character surrounded by a small group of men who do not have families and who live in adoration of said character. Then the character is killed by a jealous rival but, miraculously, is resurrected.
One is a fairy tale. The other is the basis for Christianity…
Here’s British actor Daniel Kaluuya, best known for Get Out, absolutely killing it as a comic in his SNL monologue. Oh, he’ll be back.
Brazilian Flash Mob
The voice on that señorita! Oy, mama!
I love watching Fox News try, with their tiny brains, to paint Pete Buttigieg into a corner only for him to remind them, with civility and courtesy, that he’s six chess moves ahead of them. It never gets old.
The message on this tweet…