by John Walters

Laundered Money*

*The judges will also accept “Ticket-Take Charade”

What we do know: A lottery ticket that came in and is worth $26 million was sold at a service station in Norwalk, Calif., last November 14. No one redeemed it by the six-month deadline.

What is believed to have happened: a woman who purchased the life-changing ducat claims she left it in her pants when putting them through the washing machine. While there is video footage of the woman purchasing a ticket, there’s no real way to prove that she is purchasing the winning ticket. The prize, taken as a lump sum, would be worth $19.7 million. That money will now be sent to California public schools.

Camo Lot

This weekend I was buying items at a supermarket and before my card was approved, I was asked if I wanted to make a donation… to military families. WTF?

This as various teams (including the Phillies and Blue Jays, above) were wearing camo outfits this weekend. That was in honor of Armed Forces Day, which is not to be confused with Memorial Day or Veterans’ Day.

A couple of items:

  1. So, the USA already spends $15 of every $100 in the federal budget on the military, but somehow that is not to enough to keep soldiers and their families from being charity cases? As I’ve harped on before, let me know when a supermarket machine has the same option for teachers.
  2. You’ll notice that nearly 50% of the federal budget goes to two major socialist programs benefitting seniors. These are the same seniors watching Fox News and decrying socialism and voting MAGA. How self-unaware can you be?

Winter Olympics Of Our Discontent

You remember Beijing? It’s that massive city in China that hosted the 2008 Summer Olympics.

Well, about seven or eight months from now Beijing is scheduled to host the 2022 Winter Olympics (as far as we can tell, a first in Olympics history, the Summer-Winter combo). Anyway, the problem is that Beijing happens to be in China, and China happens to have the worst human-rights record anywhere (though Israel sure is making a late push, isn’t it?). And now folks are calling for a boycott.

You’ve got the genocide being committed against the Uyghurs. And the Tibetan situation. And then there’s Hong Kong. We don’t even get to Apple employees until page 2. Part of the problem is that you and I probably aren’t related to or know a single Uyghur, or Tibetan, or even Hong Konger (is that what they’re called). And people tend not to take action unless it’s personal.

Yes, objectively, China’s actions are reprehensible. But America boycotted Russia in 1980, and look what happened (the U.S.S.R. ceased to exist as is less than a decade later, but that’s not important right now). It’s the Roger Goodall-Ray Rice deal all over again. You can know what is taking place, but unless there’s video proof of it to move the masses, nothing happens. Derek Chauvin is free today if not for that cellphone video. Man, isn’t today’s blog a bummer? This is what happens when you forget to restock the coffee bucket.

The Games will likely go on. Americans will wag a finger. Mike Tirico will likely steer clear of the subject with the possible exception of a tangential remark. That’s showbiz.

Najee Whiz

What if Marshawn Lynch maintained his degree of obtuseness but happened to be personable and a little more loquacious with the media? Welcome, Pittsburgh Steeler rookie Najee Harris (the only running back drafted in the first round). I think myself and yinzers are gonna love this kid.

A League Of Her Own

We don’t know her name, but she’s a Helen Reddy All-Star, no?

The Kid

…demonstrated he was human on Friday night as the Reds lost to the Rockies, 9-6.

He’s now 3-1 and down to $1,200.

So what’s up for tonight? He’s playing it safe, taking Gerritt Cole and the Yankees at Texas -280.

So if he wins, $100; if he loses, down $280.

Cole, at 1.37, has baseball’s 3rd-lowest ERA (and New York City’s 2nd-lowest). The Rangers, despite being in last place in the A.L. West, have the 7th-best hitting team in the A.L.

By the way, how much does pitching matter? The Twins, who have baseball’s worst record, have better team hitting numbers than Texas.

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