by John Walters

Make America Crate Again

Not sure how the “Milk Crate Challenge” became a thing, other than it originated on Tik Tok, but it’s certainly the most viral phenom of the past week. Our favorite person above is the dude wearing a mask. Being careful about Covid but not about his neck.

Our new priority order for emergency room cases goes like this: 1) vaccinated, 2) unvaccinated, 3) milk crate challenge losers.

And then there’s this…

‘cuz We’re Stupid And Contagious

Thirty years after appearing on the cover of Nirvana’s Nevermind, Spencer Elden has filed a lawsuit against the surviving members of the band alleging child pornography. I mean, he’s holding the pretty damning evidence. One baby to another said I’m not happy to have met you…

Then again, the band’s directions to the model were come as you are….

Elden is seeking less than $3 million and if you read this it seems pretty apparent that Geffen records and/or Kurt Cobain’s estate should simply pay up and settle…

Is this the start of a wave of album cover-related lawsuits? This would seem to be a perfect class-action lawsuit aimed square at a band even more iconic than the godfathers of grunge…

Weir Have All The Hitters Gone?

Yesterday in the Little League World Series Gavin Weir threw another no-hitter. The 12 years-old from Sioux Falls struck out 14 batters as South Dakota defeated Oregon 1-0. Weir is one of the most phenomenal kids we’ve seen in LLWS in a long, long time.

Here’s Weir’s line through the tournament thus far: two no-hitters. 43 2/3 innings pitched and he’s only allowed one hit and no runs while striking out 114 batters. He’s gotten 131 hitters out, and 114 of them have whiffed.

And here’s the craziest thing: Sioux Falls and Weir shouldn’t even be in Williamsport. They finished second in their region, but because of Covid, as you may have noticed, there are no international teams in the LLWS this August. So second-place teams from each region also advanced. Which is why Weir and Sioux Falls are here.

Unless there is a rainout, Weir will not be permitted to pitch again. Because he’s maxed out his pitch count for the week. That’s a LLWS rule… which might deny fans of an epic LLWS finale.

cuz We’re Stupid And Contagious (Part Deux)

“Send me some studies.” The f**k is wrong with people?

Up All Night

San Diego is not the furthest west baseball city in America— Seattle is. In fact, it may blow your mind to learn that America’s Finest City is further east than Spokane… it is. But it sure felt like it was halfway to Hawaii last night as a baseball game between the Padres and the L.A. Dodgers went early into the morning on the East coast.

The Dodgers outlasted the Padres 5-3 in 16 innings in something less than a classic and more than a marathon. What began as a pitchers’ duel between Cy Young favorite Walker Buehler an Blake Snell remained a 1-1 game to the top of the 15th… more than six innings after both had exited.

In fact, the Padres went more than nine innings before Fernando Tatis, Jr.s’ two-run homer in the 15th tied it up at 3-3. It was Tatis’ first hit in two games, or 8 at-bats.

The box score was not pretty: the clubs went a combined 7-51 with runners in scoring position, for about a .113 batting average in that spot. A.J. Pollock put L.A. up for good with a two-run homer in the top of the 16th. I went to bed after the 11th when the Padres loaded the bases with two outs but had to pinch-hit using a starting pitcher who was 3-for-40 as a hitter (why not just keep your ace closer in with those odds?).

The game took 5 hours, 49 minutes to play, which means it ended at 3:49 a.m. Eastern time. It’s the longest extra-inning game since MLB tweaked extras by starting the inning with a baserunner on 2nd (I think I buried the lede).

8 thoughts on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. Reno, NV is further west than Los Angeles, a fact that always surprises.

    Re the right-wing reporter spreading misinformation about covid – listen closely and tell me that isn’t Cecily Strong’s “girl you wish you hadn’t started a conversation with.”

    Marathon games like Dodgers-Padres are part of the fun of baseball, but have been largely eliminated by the silly ghost-runner rule, a solution in search of a problem.

  2. Am I in the minority here in that I don’t recognize the second album cover? I’m also afraid to search “nude album covers” in Google.

    Meanwhile, isn’t the runners in scoring position stat from last night’s/this morning’s game a bit inflated because of the extra-innings-runner-starts-on-second rule? Meaning, if a runner reaches 2nd base by natural means (i.e. a double, walk + fielder’s choice, base hit + wild pitch, single + fly ball tag up and advance, etc. – there are many ways), it also means that the pitcher made some sort of mistake (even if it was a good pitch that the batter put into play). So, that same pitcher is susceptible – and arguably more prone – to making another mistake. But, in the case of the extra-innings rule, the pitcher did nothing wrong to place the runner in scoring position. The batters haven’t “gotten” to the pitcher yet.

    • I don’t know whether you’re in the minority here, but your classic rock street cred just took a hit.
      It’s a good point on the RISP. I’m not sure what the analytics folks would make of your point, but it’s worth rumination.

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