by John Walters

Gaul-ty Pleasure

Emily Cooper (Lily Collins, above) is what you might refer to as a “Paris-ite.” The latest iteration of An American In Paris, Cooper is a Chicago-based marketer who is spending a year abroad at a subsidiary company, Savoir, while barely learning to learn the local language. If you’ve seen Emily In Paris on Netflix, you’d know that Collins plays Cooper as confident but often, what’s that French word…. naive?

It’s a fun show with a dreamy male chef who looks more like Tom Brady’s kid brother. What really stands out, even more so than Paris, are the costumes. Sacre bleu! If Emily’s apartment could ever even hold all the outfits that she models on the show, that would be the greatest miracle in France since the Virgin Mary’s appearance at Lourdes.

Portal Kombat

Oklahoma quarterback Caleb Williams, a sophomore-to-be, has entered the transfer portal. Last autumn Williams unseated Spencer Rattler, the putative No. 1 overall pick in next April’s draft, in Norman. Rattler has since entered the transfer portal and announced that he will play at South Carolina next year.

After Williams announced he was portal-bound, Dillon Gabriel, who played at UCF last season and had announced he was transferring to UCLA, had a change of heart and announced he was transferring to Oklahoma (whose head coach, Lincoln Riley, transferred to USC last month). But Williams may opt not to transfer. In which case, would Gabriel remain in Norman longer than two minutes? Meanwhile, who is the father of McKenzie’s love child? Will Sheena and Sebastian get back together? When Dr. Kildare’s car plunged off that seaside cliff, were there two or three passengers in the Ferrari? Tune in next week on, As The Portal Turns….

NoVax Djokovic

Earlier this morning it was reported that the Australian Open had granted Novak Djokovic a “medical exemption” (read: He’s not vaxxed) to compete in their Grand Slam tournament. Then the rest of Down Under went upside down in righteous indignation, since that ocean-locked nation has been severely locked down since the pandemic began.

Now it is being reported that NoVax, who has won the Aussie Open a record-nine times, including the last three, is not being allowed into the country. Australian Open? Australia Closed.

Coup Koo

Peter Navarro has always been more of a Donald Trump Goon Squad guy (think Rudy, Larry Kudrow, Pillow Guy) than a true Axis of Evil villain (Pompeo, McConnell, Bannon). One reason he’d be killed off early in the film, by his own crew, is that he 1) he’s too proud of himself and 2) he talks too much.

Not sure what motivated him to appear on Ari Melber’s MSNBC show and give the Jan. 6 Committee more ammo, but that’s what he did las night (Melber: “You realize you’re describing a coup?”). Navarro has always been a charlatan; he used to appear pretty regularly on CNBC. For all I know he still appears on Joe Kernan’s early morning show, which we swore off a few years ago. Regardless, this is a man who once invented an expert, an anagram of Peter Navarro, and placed him inside of his own book as a reputable source supporting his economic theory.

They’re all grifters, folks. And white supremacists. It’s not that hard to figure out.

9 thoughts on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. Spring semester hasn’t started, huh? That’s a win for all your loyal MH IAH readers!

    Hey, I’ve watched this clip (of Peter Navarro) a couple of times now and I honestly don’t know if there’s anything groundbreaking about it. Wasn’t that plan already well known on Jan. 6th? Meaning, that the plan was that Republicans were going to try to challenge several state’s election results as a way to thwart the certification of Biden’s electoral win?

    Also – no thoughts on the Irish’s 2nd half on Saturday? Speaking of the portal, is there a wide receiver worth getting in the portal that would help ND next season? Or a DB to help the depth there? The schedule gets much harder next season, with a first-time coach (who I love, BTW – big Freeman fan here), first-time starting QB, etc. … I’m thinking a 9-3 regular season is in the offing.

    • I hear Brendan Joseph (All-American safety from Northwestern) is strongly considering Irish. That would help. And Houston Griffith is returning. As for wideout, as I told Pete Sampson on NYE, I imagine after spring practices conclude across country and a few dudes see themselves not running with the 1s, that some WR out there may consider South Bend. All ND needs to do is point out that Ben Skowronek transferred in and now starts alongside Odell Beckham and Cooper Kupp. Pretty good company. I’m not as worried about WR as I probably should be, both for that reason and b/c Irish have three very good TEs they can count on. I think they’ll go more with that model and use Lenzy to keep defenses honest. And Avery Davis coming back gives them a very reliable slot dude. They mostly need more depth.

  2. MH emerges from a long winter’s hiatus, with an ode to “Emily in Paris”?

    Sacre bleu, what’s next? A treatise on Brene Brown’s latest podcast? 🙂

    Glad to see the MH band back, puns intact.

  3. My wife’s comment on Emily….and working in Advertising as a young gal back in the day like her…how can she afford all those clothes on her salary…let alone the storage of it?!? Not complaining…just an observation! She does make me want to go back to Paris again.

  4. So, yesterday on the drive home (yes, as of this week, I’m back in the office full time, well, except for the never-ending days of dental work…), I heard Mickey D’s was “temporarily closing” it’s locations in Russia. Do you know the 1ST THING that popped into my head? That jdubs would immediately declare Russia a “NO FRY ZONE”. 🙂 🙂 🙂


    BTW, are you back in NYC? Or have you permanently moved to the land of sun & rattlesnakes?

  5. And speaking of dental work, my oral surgeon asked me last week (in the middle of my double dental implant procedure), if I’d watched Emily in Paris. I said no, but a FRIEND OF MINE ( 🙂 ) has & he liked the show & thought the clothes were fab. He agreed. 🙂

    One of the many reasons I need your daily insights & opinions. To be able to talk about things I’ve never seen. 🙂

  6. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK! Helloooooo? Anyone home?!

    Stock update – yes, it’s been a bloodbath since last November for my tech-heavy investment portfolios. My energy holdings (i.e. the ones that did NOT go bankrupt & lose me allll my money between 2015-2019) have been Kings of the Mt (some solace when I go to the pump these days which of course is more often NOW as we are back in the office since last week! Talk about shitty timing). I’m not able to add any new money this year to my non-retirement stock acct as I’m going to retire in the Fall (I’ve delayed the date 5 times due to some financial crap – need to replace ALL my house’s windows next month & get $12,000 worth of crowns for the dental implants done last year, gawwwwwd). However, I’ve got some cash on the account from adding money the last couple years & on-going dividends & the one great thing about the stock market crashing is that it allows one to buy things ON SALE! After watching SHOP for the past 3 years (mostly as it kept going up, up, up without me!), I was able to buy a little went it went all he way down to $515 a few weeks ago. Whoo-hoo! Only 5 shares but I’m satisfied. Most of the cash is earmarked to add to my dividend stocks as I’m still only half-way to where I’d HOPED to be for when I entered retirement.

    If NVDA had actually fallen all the way to $175/share, I was going to HAVE to buy at least 10 more shares! Would have had to move money out of my Emergency Fund to do it, but to not do it would have been STOOPID & I would have kicked myself for the next 20 years. It may get there if we really do go into a recession, which of course, ALL THE FREAKIN EXERTS say is the one time NOT TO RETIRE! Well, I’ve been planning it for the past 5 years & it’s time. Actually, it will be 4 months AFTER I had originally planned but since I’m still not sure what I’ll do exactly with the new “life of freedom”, it’s ok. 🙂

    How are your investments these days? Made multiple millions from crypto yet? 🙂

  7. Please for the love of all that is holy write another column, no matter how short, just so when i check in daily to see if there has been another entry in my favorite blog that I don’t have to look at Emily In Paris.

  8. JW –

    I’d address this on Twitter, but I made my account private and while we used to follow each other, I believe you cancelled your Twitter account and started a new one, so you’d never see my response. It’s either that, or you unfollowed me, which is perfectly fine (I hardly tweet anymore anyway).

    That said, today you tweeted this: “I’m constantly floored by how little modern-day Christians have in common with Christ.”

    And, as a Christian, I almost (read almost completely) agree with you here. In general, the Christian Church, especially in America, has greatly deviated from what the Bible has taught. In some parts of America, the Church has blurred the lines between patriotism and being a good Christian. And, I say that as a former employee at Focus on the Family.

    That said, I believe, there’s a quieter majority that shakes their heads at these modern-day Pharisees. Those that Jesus said were like whitewashed tombs that look nice on the outside, but are filled with decaying, smelly corpses. I could go on, but will stop there. Would love to talk about it over a beer next time your in Chicago.

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