by John Walters

Relax, Kevin Costner Is Safe

Massive flooding at America’s first nations park, Yellowstone, sounds like quite a two-part season premiere for its eponymous adult soap opera. But no, this is real. As flash flooding has knocked out roads and even a bridge, parts of the park will remain closed for the foreseeable future (as well as for the unforeseeable future, which goes without saying). But what of the buffalo and bear and elk that inhabit this captivating park? Will they be laid off? Furloughed? Half-pay? They gotta eat, too.

One-Hit Wonder Bummer

St. Louis Cardinal pitcher Miles Mikolas was one out away, actually one strike away, from his first no-hitter. The 6’4″ 33 year-old, who has been in and out of baseball the past 10 seasons (fewer than 70 career decisions despite an 18-4 record in 2018), had a 2-2 count on Pittsburgh’s Cal Mitchell. Busch Stadium, or whatever it’s called these days, was ready to erupt. After all, the Cards have not thrown a no-hitter in 21 seasons.

Mikolas, who sports a classic old-timey baseball face, threw a curve. Mitchell jumped on it, hitting a straight and true shot to dead-center. Cardinal centerfielder Harrison Bader, a Gold Glover, was on his horse. This had the chance to be the perfect ending to a nearly perfect game (an unearned Pirate run scored in the fourth following an error). It would be a Top Plays catch. But the ball sailed a foot or so over Bader’s head and dropped. You could argue that if Bader had simply gone into a dead sprint instead of tracking the ball as much as he did, he might’ve caught it. Yes, maybe Willie Mays or Jim Edmonds or Mike Trout or Andrew Jones makes that catch. But it was a clean hit.

Mikolas was lifted, having tossed 129 pitches. That’s the most in the majors this season.

Stock Shock

We’re not going to discuss the economy, or Jay Powell, or basis points, or stagflation…. because we don’t really understand it. But we will note where some of the gucci stocks of a year ago find themselves this morning, where the stimmy kids went wrong, so to speak.

Peloton (PTON): July 7, 2021……… $129 Today: $9.75

Robin Hood (HOOD): August 8, 2021…..$85 Today: $6.96

RIOT Blockchain (RIOT): Nov 15, 2021……. $46.28 Today: $4.86

Unless you were short, you took it in the shorts. Or, better, avoided these altogether.


In the rain and mud of San Salvador, the USA and El Salvador met in a CONCACAF matchup. The U.S. trailed early in stoppage time when a perfectly lofted pass to found Jordan Morris’ head, and then found its way into the net. Andres Cantor had the rest. It’s jarring to hear him transition to “Stanford Cardinal,” no?

Liz Means Biz

Friday marks the 50th anniversary of the Watergate break-in. Thank God we’ve eliminated corruption from the highest office in the land and are no longer vulnerable to such chicanery.

One thought on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. Two things …

    1) As a lifelong Cardinals fan, it is, indeed, Busch Stadium. The Cardinals have played in a stadium named Busch since shortly after Anheuser-Busch bought the team in the early 50s. First, they re-named Sportsman’s Park to Busch Stadium. Then built a new stadium in the mid-60s, which they also called Busch. And, in 2006, the Cardinals moved into a brand-new stadium – the current one, named Busch – built on much of the same land as the previous one.

    There’s been some use of roman numerals to distinguish each of them – i.e. Busch I, Busch II and Busch III.

    Interestingly, soon after A-B bought the team, MLB created a new bylaw essentially prohibiting stadium sponsorship naming rights (obviously since stricken). They were worried about August Busch’s plan to re-name Sportsman’s Park Budweiser Park. As the story goes, August was at a league meeting in Chicago when he learned of the new rule. He told them that he would call his newly acquired ballpark Busch Stadium (after himself). But, right before he boarded a train back to St. Louis, he called A-B headquarters and told them to start plans for a new beer. The new brand of beer, you ask? Busch Bavarian Beer. Sort of a genius move, if you ask me.

    2) A much shorter one: I absolutely love the use of the word chicanery … that’s all.

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