by John Walters

The MH staff was going to give itself yet another morning off—Casual Thursday?— but then there was a World Series no-hitter AND we learned that Miss Argentina and Miss Puerto Rico were secretly married and we were like, Once more unto the breach, my friends.

Phillie Phutility

Rule No. 7 (Every time you watch a baseball game there’s a chance you’ll see something that has never happened in a game before) is working overtime during this Fall Classic. On Tuesday Houston Astros pitcher Lance McCullers, Jr., became the first hurler to surrender five home runs in a single World Series game (the Phils tied the record for most hit in a game) as the ‘stros were swamped, 7-0. And then last night McCullers’ four pitching teammates—Christian Javier, someone someone Abreu, Rafael Montero and Not-Elvis Pressly—pitched the first combined no-hitter in World Series history (and only the second overall after Don Larsen’s perfect game for the Yankees in 1956).

So, one of the worst pitching performances in WS history followed by one of the best, in the span of less than 30 hours, from the same pitching staff.

Interesting note from my super student Jared: Vin Scully had the call for Larsen’s perfect game in ’56 for NBC. Scully, a Bronx native, was then the precocious broadcast voice for the Brooklyn Dodgers, Larsen’s victims that day. So here we are, 66 years later, and Joe Davis had the call last night for Fox. Davis is the current Dodgers announcer, having replaced… Vin Scully, who retired a couple of years ago and only passed away a mere three months ago. Wild.

Also worth noting: the closest Philly came to a hit came early, 3rd inning we believe, with a man already on first (walked) and Kyle Schwarber up. The lead-off dead-pull hitter smoked a screamer that barely sizzled foul past the first base line after taking a hop and was ruled (correctly) foul. But just barely. If that’s a hit Philly has at least men on 2nd and 3rd. That’s the second time this series (also, Game 2, the overturned home run) in which Schwarber has flat-out scorched a ball that was millimeters foul and, if fair, might have changed the outcome of the contest.

You get the feeling that, persistence and excellence being what they are, that Schwarber will eventually be rewarded for all these near-misses with a timely clout later in the series. He already has the most awesome blast (an upper-decker at PetCo Park) this postseason.

Miss Taken Identity*

*The judges will not accept “Caribbean Queens” for cartographical reasons, and also for graphical reasons

This is the content for which the internet was created: the former Miss Argentina, Mariana Varela (left), and the former Miss Puerto Rico, Fabiola Valentin, revealed that they got married last Friday. Both pageant contestants represented their Spanish-speaking nations in 2020.

Ryan’s Express (Plenty of Stops)

Only a buzzer-beating corner three from rookie Matt Ryan saved the Los Angeles Lakers from falling to 1-6 last night. Instead, Ryan’s trey forced overtime against the New Orleans Pelicans (after a Pelican missed two free throws, either one of which would have sealed the win) and led to a Laker victory.

Doing a little research, we were startled to realize this is the same Matt Ryan who never once smiled at Notre Dame and eventually transferred to Vanderbilt… before once again transferring to UT-Chattanooga.

We recall Ryan’s arrival as a freshman in South Bend and were somewhat giddy. Sure, the surname was tailor-made for the Fighting Irish, but this kid looked and shot like the second coming of Doug McDermott. So how come he never seemed to give more than 50%? You could see the potential, but Ryan just never seemed to fit. The 6’7″ kid from Westchester County never averaged double-digits in college until his senior year at UTC, when he averaged 15.7 (and that was the season March Madness was canceled).

Apparently, after college and with the poor timing of Covid-19, Ryan found himself doing odd jobs such as driving for Door Dash and working at a cemetery in Yonkers (not the most famous person associated with Irish basketball to work in a cemetery, though) before catching on with a G-League team. And now a kid who once was stroking shots off passes from the likes of Rex Pflueger and Matt Farrell is teammates with LeBron James.

It’s a crazy world. Don’t try to figure it out.


Inveterate readers may have realized that while they’re paying the same price for MH as before, they’re only receiving three items per blog as opposed to five, as MH operated for years. And our answer to that is, “Hey, inflation.”

But, okay, here’s one more… a writers’ roundtable that includes John Krasinski and Bo Burnham. Early on, you can see Krasinski sensing that he’s met his new best friend in Bo, who (and we know this has become a cliche) is the most genius person in entertainment under the age of, well, maybe death. But certainly under 40. If you don’t know Bo, find his Netflix special “Inside,” which is simply a masterpiece.

Also, it comes all the way at the end, but Bo sneaks in an “elephant in the room” line at around 55:55 that gets completely talked over. Sadly. It’s the most incisive comment of the entire hour.

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