by John Walters

Starting Five

On The Next Episode of ‘Atlanta’

Just as the Georgia Dome was set for implosion—and why wasn’t this scheduled for 3:28?—a MARTA bus pulled up in front of The Weather Channel‘s stationary camera and blocked the view. All that was missing was a Waffle House sign in the background.

2. Sorry Charlie

Yes, him too.

Not one, not two, not four, but eight women—an octet—accuse CBS This Morning co-host and PBS host of his own eponymous interview program Charlie Rose of having sexually harassed them between the late 1990s and 2011. Rose is 75. The story first appeared in The Washington Post

CBS This Morning, to its credit, opened its show Tuesday morning by discussing the allegations (somewhere my friend Josh Elliott is saying, And they fired me why?) and with Norah and Gayle not pulling any punches on their colleague. Whom I think has seen his last day on air.. This is the way Morning Joe and Mika should have handled the Mark Halperin allegations but didn’t.

3. Clown Show

Steve Kerr: I’d much rather listen to what this guy has to say…

Look, it’s all professional wrestling. Donald Trump‘s campaign and election, and now LaVar Ball’s baseless self-aggrandizement. We used to be able to shoo this away with a “They’ll get their 15 minutes of fame” rebuke, but it’s no longer the case. The inmates run the prison, as an NFL owner once said.

Like one of the men I truly respect in this biz, Scott Van Pelt, I’m not giving LB any more than the minimal amount of notice on this site. And if you’re one of those media people fanning the flames on this, you’re complicit. This isn’t news; it’s masturbation.

For all we know, Donald and LaVar cooked up this scheme in China in between watching old episodes of “RAW is WAR.” I’ll get your son off the hook and then call him out for not thanking me and—

I’ll act like it’s no big thing…

And the white people will hate you for not respecting ‘law and order’ while the black people will hate me for acting as if you need to bow down to me…

….And we’ll take this little racial fissure and turn it into a full-blown canyon! Donald, my man, that’s what’s up!


Meanwhile, I gotta ask, why isn’t CNN clamoring to get Baker Mayfield’s dad on TV?


4. The Vanishing


First, our crack research and paranormal activity staff has watched this video at least a dozen times. We’ve sussed out that this must be Boulder, Colo. Next, as far as where number 80, Deontay Burnett, disappeared to, we can only guess that he disappeared behind teammate Toa Lobendahn, number 50.

5. Bitcoin: LISTEN UP, PEOPLE!

We’re not even going to try to pretend that we were in early on Bitcoin. But at least we’re not TOO late.

In 2010, according to the Netflix doc Banking on Bitcoin, the price of a single Bitcoin was approximately .00076 of a dollar.

Four years later, in 2014, the price of a single Bitcoin was $1,242.

As of today, the price of a single Bitcoin is peaking at $8,249.

And The Wall Street Journal just reported that states are changing laws to allow Bitcoins to be used in property transactions.

THIS IS NOT A SCAM (but isn’t that what scammers say?). Anyway, I feel like I’m in some sleepy English town in 1640 reading that the Pilgrims are making a good go of it. Should I get on a boat and give the New World a go?


I say it all the time: Help me help you! If the price of a Bitcoin has not doubled in a year from now (I think it’ll rise higher than that), you can tell me I’m wrong. You can have my prized vintage Mark Zavagnin jersey from 1982. But I don’t think I’m going to be wrong.

What’s the easiest way for you to buy Bitcoin? If you have Schwab or E-Trade, just purchase GBTC, a Bitcoin exchange traded fund.

And if none of this makes any sense to you, watch Banking On Bitcoin.

One last thing on Bitcoin and this is important: When the sub-prime mortgage crisis crippled this country, I said, “Let it burn.” That is, let the banks burn. I’ve always felt that bailing out the banks was a worse tragedy than 9/11 because it taught us the lesson that the rules only matter for the little people; the powerful people make up the rules as they go along. 9/11 was something others did to us; the bailout was something we did to ourselves.

At the time, my banker friends looked at me with patronizing gazes and explained to me that I just didn’t get it, that they couldn’t let the banking system fail. My response was to look at nature: Nature always finds a way. That is to say, people weren’t going to stop needing currency or goods; and since there was a market for it, something would come along to fill the vacuum. It always does.

Little did I know, and this was only partly a coincidence, that Bitcoin would be introduced only about six weeks after Lehman Brothers failed. In other words, a better alternative actually did come along to replace centralized banking. When you hear how loudly Jamie Dimon and his ilk are denouncing Bitcoin, you know that they are threatened by it. It’s coming, even though banks and regulators are trying to stop it. Why? Because it’s bad? No, because it will render them obsolete.

Bring on Bitcoin!


The Doak Is A Joke

The Doak Walker Award (nation’s top RB) sends out its list of three finalists and somehow omits San Diego State’s Rashaad Penny, who leads the nation in overall rushing yardage (1,824) and all-purpose yardage (223.8 ypg) and is second in rushing yards per game (165.82). Ahead of Penny are Bryce Love (deserving), Jonathan Thomas (meh) and Saquon Barkley (c’mon, man).

Music 101

Come Together

All these cable channels, and nobody is re-airing “Playboy After Dark?” Maybe the Pac-12 Network should do it. Here’s Ike and Tina Turner’s cover of the Beatles’ classic, from 1969.

Remote Patrol

The Bridge On The River Kwai

TCM 8:30 p.m.

Some Best Picture winners are no-brainers. This 1957 David Lean classic won seven Oscars and would’ve won even more if there were any meaningful female roles. A must-see for anyone who loves films.


2 thoughts on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. Admittedly, I never recommended that someone buy bitcoin, but I did allude to bitcoin in this very section a year ago:

    Alas, I went back and reviewed the column for the stock pick of the year ( and never mentioned it, so….

    Snapchat did IPO and did cater…Although I think that is a big joke of a company….I have three brothers that use it, though…

    Next year’s stock pick is going to be A+ material. Will be able to even get some skin in the game this time around.

  2. If you become a millionaire from your Bitcoin “investment”, I will send you a congratulatory gift of TULIPS & a Beanie Baby. Of course, what I should send you is a life jacket, for when the ship be sinkin’, you can be swimmin’. I sincerely wish you good luck, but I beseech you – puhlEEEEZE do not put more than 10% of your investment monies into this!

    None of my new stock purchases of 2014 are now 6-baggers (like the Bitcoin you mention above). However, I did buy IPGP then & after a couple years of not doing much, it has ZOOMED this year – when it gets to $266 (it’s currently at $243 & climbing), I’ll have a 4-bagger. Alas, I only made my initial purchase & never got around to adding more as I kept waiting for it to go down. Excluding the stocks I bought between Nov 2008 – Apr 2009 (when the proverbial blindfolded dart-throwing monkey could have tripled all his investing money by 2011), I think this is the fastest 4-bagger I’ve ever had. Maybe not ‘Bitcoin’ but it’s “COIN” to me! 🙂

    Charlie Rose?!! Is there ANY man who has held any position of power the past decade (beyond Tim Tebow) who is NOT a total shit?

    One more thing & I’ve been wanting to ask this for a while – can YOU explain why Arizona is ‘Trump country’? I think it’s been Republican at least since Goldwater (? – I’ve not consistently tracked voting in western states so this may be incorrect) but I just can’t understand why any state with so many senior folks would willingly support the party whose main goal is to END Medicare & Social Security. Are most of the inhabitants suffering from Stockholm Syndrome?

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